The next day Rebecca and Orlando spend a lot of time talking about whether the porridge will stiffen up, which should sound dirtier than it did. Team Jack and the Beanstalk lose much of their beanstalk to a tragic broken pulled glass accident. Team Hansel and Gretel is plagued by the negative vibes rolling off of Melissa, but no one suggests shoving her in an oven and eating her. Moments before the party, Melissa offers to kick the table and send the showpiece flying. No one takes her up on it. The doors open and a bunch of adults dressed for Cosplay like they are normal functioning productive members of society fill the room and demand free food. Get jobs, you costumed weirdos! Team Goldilocks has a stunningly stunning showpiece that features stiffened porridge like it's no big thing. The dessert to accompany the showpiece is bear food, if bears were of the Tom Colicchio variety: Almond bars and fruits of the forest and honey ice cream. Judges Gail Simmons (who is dressed like Red Riding Hood, natch) and Hubert Keller love it. The second round of desserts -- I did not know two desserts were required -- has the damn porridge, hot rainier cherries, basil syrup and a tuile, because you got to have a tuile. Also it is too hot, too cold, and just right. Too cute!Over at the Jack and the Beanstalk table, Judge Johnny is dressed like a member of one of those free spirit (read: deodorant free) marching bands and Judge Dannielle (remember her? me either) is wearing a velvet cape because why the hell not wear a velvet cape. Although, one of my maxims in life is never stand too close to a man in a velvet cape. Johnny is explaining the magic behind making a candy beanstalk to Dannielle who has probably never been in a kitchen. Don't forget she is on this show exclusively because she founded a company with "candy" in the name. I am guessing the founder of "Candie's" shoes is feeling kinda robbed right now. Johnny points out that the team failed to remember the 3-D nature of the challenge and left some visible imperfections in the back. He must be really insufferable in bed. After his comments, the team is already slightly disheartened when they present their desserts to the judges. First is a "bergamot cloud" with whipped lemon ricotta and sweet pea sorbet, because why not slip the judges a vegetable just to show that you really care about their nutrition? Johnny thinks it's a bit too bergamot-y. Next is a brown butter hazelnut cake with lemongrass stalk (get it? get it?) infused cream, passion fruit puree even though no one actually likes passion fruit, and white chocolate cream. Dannielle follows Johnny's negative lead and calls the cake one note. Another patron calls it "dense," the cake responds by calling her dense and a food fight is ON.
Top Chef Just Desserts
Episode Report CardLuluBates: B+ | 661 USERS: B-
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Top Chef Just Desserts