Top Chef Just Desserts
Villa Rosa

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: C+ | Grade It Now!
Extra! Extra!

Lisa then has to choose which team is the winner. They all weigh in, but Lisa finally makes up her mind. One team embodies what her husband tried to explain to her. The winner? Amanda's team! Which they keep calling Chris' team because Amanda let him do the talking because he's a handsome dude and she thought the Housewives would appreciate that or something. I may not have been paying that much attention, because unless Chris is sugarcoated cannelled carmelized and served up on a platter, I don't care. Anyway, THEY WON! They all awkward group hug and head back to mainline some insulin or whatever it is pastry chefs do to celebrate victories.

Craig's team looks crestfallen, like melted sorbet or deflated cotton candy. Craig admits that their team perhaps relied too much on whimsy and lacked the refinement of the other team. Gail nods in agreement, this was a party for a REAL HOUSEWIFE... not the those trashy Atlanta ladies, but the Beverly Hills branch office which is nothing but class and elegance. Nelson's oversized lollipop is first on the chopping block, with its size being its real downfall. Don't worry, Nelson, there are a lot of ladies who appreciate, girth. Sally's melted sorbet also takes some hits. Hugh thought her plate looked like "a petit four with some melted sorbet" which I think is some huge pastry diss? Like he just called her mama fat AND ugly AND broke-ass. Sally looks stunned. The judges get really harsh when they start in on the rose petals that were sprinkled across the table. Even I might balk if someone got sent home for rose petals, because this isn't Top Design, it's Top Chef. Just Desserts, but still. Then Craig falls on his sword and blames his inexperience for his team's failings. The judges all agree. His lemonade was "useless" and Hugh would have fired him because he did nothing. Rebecca kindly rushes to his defense claiming he also chopped some rhubarb for her, but his real savior is that he has immunity. Sally cries as the contestants head to the stew room to think about what they've done.

The judges think Nelson's lollipop was terrible, but Sally's melted sorbet was unforgivable. They also hate Orlando's sugar centerpiece because it was beautifully executed and stunning, but then he covered it up in wilty flowers. They're just filling time at this point, because there is no way they are sending Orlando home for that centerpiece. They know it, we know it. Then the judges quit wasting valuable time where Extra could be selling us pancake-flavored gum and line up the losers in front of them. Rebecca and Matthew are dismissed because they had excellent desserts. Craig is sent back, but before he goes, Johnny warns him that his so-called dessert was the worst thing ever and if could send Craig home he would pack his bags himself. Craig looks like a puppy who piddled on the carpet as he walks back to the stew room. Orlando is scolded for his overly flowered centerpiece, but it's really Sally and Nelson who are on the line. Finally after an overly dramatic pause, Nelson is relieved of his chef's whites. His troll-doll looking lollipop simply offended everyone at the table. Nelson thanks the judges, blames Craig, and leaves with his dignity. In the stew room, Craig is ...well, stewing. For some reason he is taking it really personally that Johnny spit on his dessert and crushed it under his foot. Even if it was just figurative, it hurt. Orlando is sick of his whining though and says some truly dickish things to make sure that we all know that he is not a man to be trifled with, unless, of course, he is making a trifle.

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Top Chef Just Desserts




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