A Very Special Episode of Top Chef
Food Flurry with stuff crashing and falling and cheftestants helping one another unscrew caps and running around like crazy. Except Stephen. See, Stephen explains that he had "every one of those minutes planned out," and was not at all hurried or stressed. His calm tone is so "the reason that I am better than you is just because I am better than you." Oh, Stephen, I've missed your superior pomposity. Dave, meanwhile, is literally flapping (one winged, of course) all over the kitchen. He juggles some bulk spices up to one ear and then sort of humps the canister against the table to open it. And I just don't know what to make of Ilan deep-throating his immersion blender except to assume he's auditioning for a culinary porno called Cockalot, Eat Out Man Woman, Titilla Soup or Babette's Fuck. Everyone talks about their fancy-pants dishes, but Stephen, in a complete divergence from character, tells us that he went simple and decided to do the perfect omelet. Marcel gleefully tells us that he's making an "ode to a Spanish breakfast." "And what better way to approach the smackdown than a saffron foam?" Marcel asks us. I can think of nothing. Time runs out.
Padma and Colicchio get to the tasting. Dave complains to us that his Asian-spiced scrambled eggs were overcooked as a result of "that Quickfire stress." And then there's this cut-in line where Dave adds, "Plus, I'm not twitching as much but I probably am." Okay, the incongruity of that sentence aside, what twitching? And is he on medication for it? Because I would think twitching in a kitchen can be sort of dangerous. You could lose a finger. Or five.
Padma and Colicchio move on to Tiffani's herb and cream-poached eggs with Parmesan cheese. Colicchio and Padma scoop the drippy eggs out of the bowl and lose most of the egg through the fork tines. Tiffani admits to us that while she's good at cooking eggs, today her eggs hadn't set up properly. I know they can't be, but her eggs look almost raw. "Egg soup," Colicchio chirps. "Eh, cream-poached eggs," Tiffani corrects him calmly.