Top Chef
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A Very Special Episode of Top Chef

The next morning, the cheftestants have two hours to prep. Food Flurry. Stephen opines that his butter-poached lobster tail, using saffron-infused butter is going to be "spot on." At least he didn't say soigné. Harold's feeling pretty laid-back about his "old school" Sicilian spicy duck meatballs with gnocchi. Ilan tells us that he's going head-to-head with Harold, "It's a little exciting," So exciting, he's considering sticking the immersion blender back in his mouth. Someone -- I do think it's Lee Anne -- tells them how much time they have left. We miss you, Lee Anne! And here is Colicchio for his Sniff 'n' Sneer! Wait, didn't I read that he wasn't going to be nosing around the kitchen any more? And also, after all his protestations last year how he WASN'T a mentor, that he might actually be taking on that role this year? Maybe that all only applies to when Season Three actually gets going. The best part of Colicchio's Sniff 'n' Sneer is when Marcel tells Colicchio that his lobster going up against Stephen's is "going to be a smackdown." Stephen raises his head over this with a firm and bemused smile on his face, like, "Oh, reaaaaaaally?!"

Colicchio walks over to Stephen and asks about the wines he chose. Stephen confirms that he put together a whole set of pairings. "Now," Colicchio says, getting into it, "We're serving these courses head-to-head, right?" Stephen agrees with this statement. Colicchio just sits there, trying to bite back a smile and nods, "Okay…" "Soooo…?" Stephen asks, cocking his head and turning red. Colicchio HYSTERICALLY tries to figure out how to put this gently. His face goes through several different variations on how to start his next sentence. The sentence that will strike dread into Stephen's wine marinated heart. "You're serving your wine with the other food as well?" Colicchio says, and he's almost gleeful. Either that, or he's just totally cracking up over how dense Stephen is being. Stephen stands there, mouth open, and you can see the exact moment when he is all, "Fuuuuuck!" And realizes how truly screwed they might be. "What if your wine goes better with the course that they're preparing?" Colicchio asks. Stephen doesn't answer. That's a DUN! on this show if I ever heard one. I'm also sort of surprised that none of the other Onesies cottoned on to that thought either. I'd think Tiffani would have pointed it out.

Leaving Stephen to his misery, Colicchio stumps over to Dave, who is being predictably frenetic and talking fast. He promises Colicchio, "I'm trying to breathe. I'm working on breathing." Colicchio announces they have forty-five more minutes before the first course is served. "And no one is paying attention! That's great to see -- you're all working hard. Take care!" Colicchio leaves.

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Top Chef

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