Top Chef
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A Very Special Episode of Top Chef

They have thirty-nine minutes left and Marcel has just told us, "I'm so weeded right now." There's a crash from the fridge. Ilan has dropped a hotel pan of something onto the rubber floor mats. He swears. Sam looks around at him, but Marcel hasn't reacted. Ilan tells Marcel that he just dropped his diced mango on the floor. He apologizes and says he'll wash them off. Hey, Ilan, this is television, you know? What you do in your restaurant is your business -- oh, right. You don't have your Own Restaurant. Harold does. The camera hones in on Ilan desperately trying to scrape bright yellow bits of mango out of the mat. Ilan asks if Marcel wants him to wash it or cut new mango for him. Cut new mango, dude. Just do it. Marcel tells us he spent fifteen minutes just getting the mango into the perfect dice and now it's all over the floor, "That was just ridiculous." Okay, but he offered to redice for you -- make him do it.

Time is ticking away. Tiffani tastes Dave's tapenade and suggests he add tomato so it's not so dense. Dave reaches for a can of tomatoes, but Tiffani stops him, "I would grab, like, a raw tomato." As Dave tells us that he's being brought right back to where he was with people telling him what to do in Season One, we get flashbacks of Tiffani telling Dave what to do. Actually, I thought Tiffani was pretty nice about her tomato suggestion. Dave, you had her taste your food -- I presume that's why she was there tasting it -- because you want feedback, right? I didn't think Tiffani was annoying about the way she suggested the fresh tomatoes. And that's a huge admission coming from me. We now have scenes of Stephen telling Dave what to do with his scallop dish. Dave totally laps up the suggestions but then tells us, "I don't need to be told what to do in the kitchen. I don't want to prove myself to these guys in the kitchen. I don't need to do that." I would think that being open to suggestions about your dish and not assuming everything you make is automatically perfect would show that you are, you know, open-minded. And mature. And not whiny. Although it's considerate that Dave saved his bitching for a time when it wouldn't interfere with his team's performance. Passive-aggressive, but considerate.

Oh, Colicchio -- don't act goofy or jiggy in the Bravo commercials. Don't try to have fun with it. It's just not you. Still can't see your shoes!

The cheftestants rush to plate the first course and the servers file in. Dave -- channeling Stephen in a much louder and caffeinated way -- lectures the servers on how to do their job. As circus-like oompah-oompah music plays, Dave stutters and taps his head with both hands and tells the servers to "think server, think smart." He tells them not to stick their fingers in the food. He tells them not to drop the food, adding, "I can make more but I don't want to make more, I'll get pissed off." He tells them -- oh, I think I have to actually quote him on this because I don't know a better way of describing it -- "So we'll get that out, once we've got all the food out, we'll be chatting, we'll be laughing, ha-ha-ha, then you will take out the beverages okay?" It's the "ha-ha-ha" I love. That and not taking a breath. Harold nicely says that Dave is "passionate." Dave gets irritated when someone spills stuff and then bitches, "Where did they get these servers from?"

Elia, with much less fanfare and much more breathing, gets her scallops out as well.

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