Top Chef
A Shock at the Space Needle

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Veterans' Day
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The cheftestants walk into the Top Chef kitchen for the first time, and Micah interviews that he was giving everyone the look to let them know that he's the top dog. Relax, Micah. Put your dick away. Let's cook something before you get all crazy. Padma enters along with previous cheftestants Stefan, Josie, and CJ. I looooooove CJ. I grudgingly enjoyed Stefan but it was mostly with Fabio. I don't know how I'll feel about him alone. Anyway, these former cheftestants are the judges for the Quickfire.

For the Quickfire, Padma instructs them to divide into five groups of three. Since they know nothing about one another, this is mostly based on where they happened to be standing. The task is to make a dish highlighting local shellfish in twenty minutes. Josie advises them to figure out who's doing what and fast, so they don't waste time that they could be cooking. John, who is already annoying me with his habit of wearing his glasses up on his forehead like he has an extra pair of eyes up there, starts muttering to his teammates while Padma is still talking, and she totally calls him out on it. Good for you, Padma.

Time starts and everyone scatters like ants on an ant hill that has just been crushed. Not that I'd ever do anything so cruel, but I do have an older brother. Many of the teams are going for geoduck, because it can be prepared quickly. Kristen adds that, "It looks like a penis...a really big one." That is definitely true. And they have to dig around in a pit of mud to get one out, so there's no telling how many are in there. John, Brooke, and Eliza are all digging around in the mud, looking for geoduck, but John seems to get the last one. Eliza grabs razor clams, whatever those are, so now her team has to change strategies.

The only all-woman team is Carla, Lizzie, and Chrissy. Carla is just talking, talking, talking. It's like Lizzie and Chrissy are having one conversation together and Carla is having a whole different conversation all by herself. Josh walks by and is like, "Thank God I'm not on that team." I hear you, brother.

Bart explains that Belgian food is amazing because they've been conquered so many times that their food is an amalgam of all different cultures. Brooke is on Bart's team, and she explains that he's a classic chef, while she is much more rustic, but she's trying to be open to suggestions. Meanwhile, Carla is just running around the kitchen after Lizzie, yelling and screeching. Oh my God, I would kill her.

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