Top Chef
Chef Overboard

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Hung's 300 Years War

At the checkout, Howie and Brian go over Howie's shopping and he's already over the spending limit and has about half his groceries still to ring up. The two of them puzzle over what to take out and leave in. Howie says to us, "We all have a lot of catering experience and I think that Brian has the least catering experience, which is why I really respect the decision he made." Why do I find that comment really confusing? The Brians tell us, "Howie and I have kind of a patchy past." They do? When? Did MALARKEY! attack Howie up one night and leave it to the other three to apologize and swab the bite marks? (MALARKEY!'s totally a biter.) Brian goes on that he was worried about how Howie would treat him as a leader, but Howie has shown that he's willing to listen to Brian and make changes that are good for the overall team. Dale brings more debate to Brian because he doesn't know whether to keep the yogurt or the goat cheese. "GOAT CHEESE! YOGURT! GOAT CHEESE! YOGURT!" MALARKEY! advises unhelpfully. No more late-night Farscapes for him. Dale finally gives up the goat cheese. Brian says that the entire team is starting to "gel" and that even Howie is starting to respond and play as a team member. Howie then tells us that he really wants to do what's best for the team because he wants to impress the judges and he doesn't want all of the viewing public to think that he's "some sort of person who can't work as a group." Honey, don't sweat it -- there's only on person on this show who can "work as a group," and that's Brian.

The cheftestants drive off to the catering space and wonder where they're going. CJ muses they might be going on a boat. Howie tells him, "I once did a party on a boat and it was a fucking nightmare." And they're on a boat. It's one of those big rent-a-cruisers. Padma welcomes the cheftestants and instructs them to grab their groceries from their RAV-4s and head on board. So, the inside of the boat is really nice -- all white and steel and minimalist, like the fashionistas, I imagine -- but the galley is smallish. Honestly, I was expecting it to be so much smaller, but I'd say that if they took the two catering trucks and smashed them together (which is exactly what was going to happen if O'Brian hadn't refused to tell MALARKEY! how to release the parking break) they'd have the same amount of space. CJ marvels that he can stand up straight in the galley -- his head brushes the ceiling -- and Brian tells us, "It's pretty odd when you're down in the galley. It's very tight quarters and then you have the rocking boat to deal with also, so I'm hoping everyone keeps the lunch down." The chefs or the guests? Both would be ideal, I guess.

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