Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 538 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Frozen Food

Tom looks exhausted as he says that they were all impressed, but there can only be one winner. And Padma announces that the winner is Paul. These challenges are kind of bullshit because we aren't hearing anything about why Paul won. What about his dish was better than the others? Did they take into account that he gave up ingredients to the other two? We will never know. So anyway, Paul is moving on to the finals and that leaves Sarah and Beverly to duke it out. The producers must be psyched, since this is what they wanted all along.

So the next day, presumably, it's time for the showdown between Beverly and Sarah. They approach the three judges and a guest and notice that Padma is holding a rifle. Are they going to kill zombies? That would be kind of awesome. Beverly wonders if they're going to have to shoot their own game. Maybe they will just shoot one another and get it over with. It's like "The Most Dangerous Game." Beverly will hunt Sarah down in the woods. Whoever comes out alive gets to go to the finals. Don't act like the producers didn't think about it.

Anyway, their guest judge is Cammi Granato, Olympic hockey player. But that has nothing to do with their event. They are going to do the biathlon, the event that everyone talks about only during the Olympics. Well, that and curling. They have to cross-country ski through the woods, and then shoot targets that represent various ingredients. They only get ten bullets. I wonder what would happen if one of them got zero bullseyes. Would they just not get to cook? Sarah says that she used to shoot guns with her dad, while Beverly has never held a gun.

Time starts, and they both put on their cross-country skis. Beverly seems to do better with the skis. It would have been nice if they had given them a modicum of instructions on cross-country skiing, since neither of them is doing it right. They're both kind of doing it like downhill skiing, instead of "walking" the skis. Beverly takes a huge lead, but then both of them keep falling down. Beverly gets to the shooting range first, and hits her first attempt, arctic char. Sarah finally arrives and decides to go for rabbit. She misses her first four attempts, but finally gets rabbit with her fifth bullet. Meanwhile, Beverly has hit a total of five out of ten, so she has lots of ingredients. Sarah whines that she feels like Beverly got more bullets than her. She didn't. You just wasted a lot of bullets and kept missing. Sarah ends up with rabbit, cabbage, and cherries for her ingredients.

Top Chef

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