Top Chef
Don't Be Tardy for the Dinner Party

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So everyone is hanging out at the rodeo, bummed and exhausted, after Richie's elimination. Padma shows up and they panic that there's another challenge right now. Instead, she tells them that they should get a good night's sleep because in the morning, they will be packing their bags and meeting her in Dallas. Instead of the big cheers she might have been expecting, everyone just sighs. Ed interviews that he just fell in love with their house and now they have to pack up and move. I think they're all just so tired and the thought of packing is devastating.

The next morning everyone packs his or her things in preparation for the move. Beverly interviews that she thinks of the Dallas Cowboys and country singers when she thinks of Dallas. In fact, she thinks Dolly Parton is from Dallas. She's not, but nice try. They split up into three vans and hit the road. Heather talks about how she took a lot of road trips as a kid, and her brother always threw up on her. Didn't her parents give them bags? Or bowls, at least? My brother used to get car sick too, so my parents always gave him a bag, just in case. In one of the cars, Ed tells everyone that he's been married for a year, and Ty-Lor says that he has a boyfriend. So now we know that, if you care about such things.

In another car, Dakota and Beverly talk about how they gained a ton of weight during culinary school, especially during baking class. Chris Hollywood pipes up that he was seventy pounds heavier then, and Paul asks if he means he was big and buff, and Chris Hollywood says that he was just fat. They show a picture of Chris at his higher weight, and not only was he heavier, but his hair was AWFUL. And a chef's coat flatters no one. Chris says that he did a photo shoot and it was in a magazine and his friends called him up and said, "Hey, looking good in that magazine, fatty." Okay, you need new friends. Who would say that? That's awful. Anyway, it inspired him to lose seventy pounds in two years, which is a healthy pace, so good for him.

The cars leave the highway and end up on some back road. And there's a road block set up by the Texas Highway Patrol. No one seems to notice or mention the fact that there are camera crews with the cops, which seems to make it pretty obvious that this is part of the show. Dakota interviews that she got pulled over in San Antonio and got an expensive ticket, which she didn't pay, so she thinks there might be a warrant out for her arrest in Texas. What is with the lawbreakers on this show? Chuy owes back taxes and Dakota just decides not to pay traffic tickets. Bunch of scofflaws. The trooper tells them to pull over, and they drive right into a field, which seems like trouble.

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