Top Chef
Don't Be Tardy for the Dinner Party

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The second couple is Kari and Troy Kloewer. Their house is a little fancier. She looks like a Barbie doll and he looks like Ken crossed with Jason Lee. She doesn't like spicy food, cilantro or raspberries. Okay, hold the phone here. Who doesn't like raspberries? WTF? I mean, if you like one kind of berry, don't you kind of like them all? And raspberries are the best berries. She's nuts. And speaking of nuts, she doesn't eat meat. She might have mentioned that right off the bat. Chuy interviews that the husband is adventurous but the wife is high-maintenance. Look, I have no problem with people avoiding certain foods or certain types of foods. Whatever floats your boat. But then don't go on a television show where the best upcoming chefs in the country are going to cook food just for you! I mean, I am not the most adventurous eater when left to my own devices, but if the cheftestants wanted to cook for me, I'd try whatever they had to offer.

The third couple, the dessert couple, is Kameron and Court Westcott. That can't be their real names. They are terrible. Court is about five feet tall and has his collar popped so I immediately discount everything he has to say. Kameron claims that she loves cake balls and cupcakes and fudge but she has the most sunken cheeks I've ever seen and obviously hasn't eaten a dessert in like ten years. Court heard the phrase "make my inner fat kid cry" at some point and decided to work it in at every opportunity. And then he says that his wedding cake (presumably the groom's cake, which I only know about because of Steel Magnolias) was a giant Gummi bear. That sounds disgusting. Edward is as judgmental as I am, saying that he can't do elegance and cook with Gummi bears. Anyway, the couple wants them to have fun with it. Just know that Kameron will be spitting every bite into a napkin.

They head to Whole Foods. Ty-Lor and Heather both express relief at being able to do their own thing instead of working with a team, but Ty-Lor points out that there is nowhere to hide if your food isn't good. Paul interviews that his client isn't adventurous, so he's going to cook what she wants, and he's learned in the past that in these cases, you can't cook for yourself and what you want. Chris Hollywood is going to make cupcakes; he's got a basic recipe that he's never tested. Oh, that should work out swimmingly. What could go wrong when baking with a recipe that you've never used? I'll tell you what will go wrong -- it will be terrible. It's so easy to mess up baked goods. It's why I rarely make them.

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