Top Chef
Eastern Promise

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Oh, what a night! You know something scandalous happened on this show when the episode thread swells to sixteen pages in a matter of just a few days. The best part? The sourcing of California Bar exam study sheets to try and decide if what Otto did is considered a felony. Awesome.

Mad props to whirlingdervish for the most excellent homepage headline. So, after this episode, I am convinced that while Padmadala may look all kinds of hot -- although her eyes are a bit too far a part, giving her a fish look -- her line delivery has not improved since Enterprise. You know what that means, don't you? It's time for emphasis transcription. For example, "Previously on Top Chef, FIFteen of the country's most talented chefs SHARPEN their knives for battle" and "At stake for the winner? STATE of the ART Kenmore Pro kitchen furnished by Sears. An EDITORIAL feature in FOOD & Wine MAGazine, a chance to SHOWcase their culinary talent at the TWENTY-fifth Anniversary FOOD and Wine Classic in Aspen, and one hundred-thousand dollars to KICKstart their culinary careers, furnished by the makers of the GLAD family products." You get me?

In the LA loft, the cheftestants talk about Suyai's packing-her-knives-and-going. You know, there's gotta be a better term for that. Project Runway has the awesome "auf'd," what about the foodists getting oeuf'd? Could it work? Otto tells us, "And that's what it's all going to come down to: who can improvise, adapt, and overcome." And steal?

Next morning, Colicchio rouses the cheftestants at four-thirty in the morning, telling them they're going to the fish market. Mia, dressed but slumped on a couch, tells us she's not feeling well at all. At the fish market, Padmadala -- all braided and boobed up -- bids them an overly cheerful "good morning" for that early hour. She tells them they will be preparing sushi for the Quickfire. Mia looks like she's about to throw up, but she mashes her lips together and pats them so delicately with her fingertips, it doesn't strike me as genuine nausea. I wonder if they had to go back and get a pick up of that because the camera didn't know to be on her for her reaction. Marcel tells us, "I'm not a sushi guru by any means, so I was feeling a little nervous." Can you really be a "sushi guru"? There's no real intersection between Japan and India. Maybe you can be a sushi yokozuna or a poppadum guru, but not really a sushi guru. Michael is scared and tells us, "How am I going to stay in the middle on this one?" Just don't choose flounder. Padmadala tells them they have an hour to shop for fish and thirty minutes back in the kitchen to prepare a sushi plate. Mia turns away, her hand over her mouth and quickly walks away from the group. She squats near a dumpster, where she appears to be throwing up. However, she tells us, "I'm not going home. If I'm sick, I get to be sick at work." Ew, not if you're preparing food -- RAW FOOD! -- that people are going to eat!

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