Brian and his straw hat -- under which he keeps all of his MALARKEY! -- bring out his stuffed cabbage. The Evil Dr. Mathra, padding out from the bedroom with a sleep-creased face, wants to know if Brian (MALARKEY!) brought a hatbox with him to Miami. Apparently, he's been wearing "lots of ridiculous headgear." "Lots" seems to be defined by this particular hat and a knit cap Brian (MALARKEY!) was seen wearing in the cheftestant apartment. Brian (MALARKEY!)'s lobster and shrimp stuffed cabbage is swimming in some Agent Orange lobster broth with green beans. "And I just wanted the world to know that it's okay to have a little bit of cholesterol, have a little of lobster -- everything in moderation," Brian (MALARKEY!) explains defiantly, with a little bit of weird hand waving that is actually letting the world know that it's okay to cook crazy. All lithium in moderation. Portale and Ted Allen make faces over Brian (MALARKEY!)'s speech. Colicchio sighs and looks annoyed.