Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 575 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
God Save The Hot Dish

In the back, the cheftestants applaud Howie, and Dale calls out Micah, CJ, Lia, Sara M., and Brian (MALARKEY!). Brian (MALARKEY!) looks around at the other cheftestants and tells us, "I'm immune to elimination. I'm befuddled, I don't know what the hell is going to happen here." Colicchio repeats that Brian (MALARKY!) has immunity, but they still wanted to call him out and tell him just how very disappointed in him they all were for choosing to use lobster. Colicchio also tells him it's about time to stop using seafood and prove to them that he can handle meat. Brian (MALARKY!) is then excused from the table. I dearly wanted Colicchio to add that Brian's speech about cholesterol in moderation was a bunch of MALARKEY! Starting with Micah, Padma tells her she scored the lowest with the Elks. Micah shrugs. Ted Allen wonders how Micah thought her dish took meatloaf to a new level. "They showed it to me yesterday -- it was just a round of ground beef and some brown gravy. To me, that is nothing I would ever eat," Micah responds making an "icky food is so beneath me" face. As I said in my recaplet, I find it so hard to believe that in six or so years of living in the United States, Micah never saw or heard of meatloaf. And I will repeat, the U.S. is not the only country to eat meatloaf. Micah's clearly been living in a culinary vacuum and as such, does not deserve to win Top Chef. Colicchio wonders if she would eat the meatloaf she prepared. Micah admits she wasn't exactly happy with the texture of her end result. Portale again mentions the odd aftertaste of her dish. Moving to Sara M., Padma asks if she's eaten a lot of Chicken à la King. No, not really, she's from Jamaica, however she liked what she did. "It bore no resemblance, whatsoever, to Chicken à la King and that is a problem -- I just don't understand what you were thinking," Portale tells her forcefully. Portale then tells CJ that his tuna casserole was "so green that it was frightening" and the flavors were "all pea." CJ agrees. Colicchio didn't mind the green, but the flavors were muddy. However, he did appreciate the thought that went into the cholesterol-lowering flax seed tuile. Lia is taken to task for not really doing much with her dish other than undercooking her lentils. "I guess I didn't really understand how complex franks and beans are," Lia jokes. BWAH! The judges laugh. Colicchio tells the cheftestants that with thirteen left, he doesn't want people aiming for the middle ground.

Top Chef

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