Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 575 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
God Save The Hot Dish

Results. Portale was not impressed by Micah's dish and says her conch salad wasn't very conch-y and it needed heat and seasoning. Camille's tea flavoring was overpowering, and Tre's proportions were off -- too much corn, not enough shellfish. His loves were Howie's ceviche, Brian (MALARKEY)'s three rivers of dreams, and CJ's. Portale admits that when he looked at CJ's dish, he didn't think he was going to like it -- CJ smiles and shrugs at this -- but he did like it. I think that one droplet of sauce that wasn't perfectly round upset him a bit. Portale was most impressed by Brian (MALARKEY)'s thoughtful and well-prepared dish, so he wins it. Howie tells us he's content with being an honorable mention at this point.

For the Elimination Challenge, Padma says they are going from something "very, very fresh" to something "a bit more stale." With Portale's help, Padma wheels out two tables laden with scrumptious fare like stuffed cabbage, chicken 'n' dumplings (the 'n' is an integral part of the cooking process, believe me), and well-beloved meatloaf and mashed potatoes. The cheftestants will be cooking for the Miami Elks Club Lodge, and their challenge is to take these stellar examples of "classic" American family fare and update them, transforming them into "modern, low-cholesterol meals." (Read: make them edible and not heart attacky.) Going in reverse order from how they fished, the cheftestants pick their plates. As in, Hung will not be running around dropping franks and pissing people off.

None of the cheftestants are thrilled by this challenge. Lia notes that she's not used to creating low-fat, healthy food, and Hung says that a family classic for him would be steamed fish, rice, and vegetables not "fried chicken and creamy and buttery things." He adds, "All those dishes look disgusting to me." I don't know if it's just him or the way he says things, but he totally cracks me up whenever he gets exercised over anything. He can't sit still. Here's a quick rundown: Casey chooses Sloppy Joes (which Bravo Graphics spells as "Sloppy Joe's" because there's some sort of possession going on, apparently) and Tater Tots; CJ grabs nasty-looking tuna casserole; Lia takes franks 'n' beans; Howie channels his inner Peter Brady and snatches pork chops and applesauce; Micah muses over her choices and reminds us "I'm from South Africa," which, she claims, means she's never eaten fried chicken, doesn't know what Chicken à la King is, and grabs meatloaf. "My reaction to American comfort food," Micah tells us: "Bleh!" Interesting. That's also been America's reaction to you. Camille loves tacos and chooses them; Dale selects chicken 'n' some flat-ass dumplings that cannot help but be improved upon; Brian (MALARKEY!) nabs stuffed cabbage, which he will be sure to clog up with something bughouse; Sara M. braves the Chicken à la King, and Hung ends up with fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. Padma gives them thirty minutes and seventy-five dollars to shop. Micah tells us that she's thinking meatloaf and mashed potatoes shouldn't be too hard to improve upon. Given that so many cultures, not including American, have renditions on this dish, I would be inclined to agree that any experienced chef should be able to handle this.

Top Chef

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