Top Chef

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Old MacDonald

So then, while Tamesha is doing something, Kevin's bowl of cauliflower couscous falls off the table and onto the ground. I rewatched to see if Tamesha bumped it, and she really didn't. She was working on a totally different table, so she couldn't have even bumped the table to cause the fall. Kevin comes over and someone says that was all the cauliflower they had to use, so there goes his dish. Angelo proposes scooping it up off the ground, at least the parts that aren't touching the ground, and while I am a huge proponent of the three-second rule, I don't think that's a good idea. Because, bugs. Luckily, Kevin agrees with me and goes and finds broccoli. He admits that he's never made this dish with broccoli but he needs to take a chance.

Tamesha tells Andrea that her pork won't cook because the grills don't get that hot, and it's too windy. Kevin and Kenny agree. Andrea decides to cut her pork into smaller pieces to get it to cook in time, but she's still really unsure. Tim has a bunch of people tasting his turnip, and everyone has advice for him. He seems to forget that these people are his competition and don't really have a vested interest in him doing well. He decides, instead of making a mousseline (which would presumably involve mixing the whipped turnip with a white sauce) to just serve the chunks of roast turnip and call it country. That worked so well for Britney explaining why she was driving around with her baby in her lap, no? Amanda thinks her soup is really good. Andrea tries to get her pork on the grill, but it's really full with pots, so she's having trouble finding room. Kelly is making a dessert on top of her regular dish, even though she knows desserts are sure disaster on this show.

The farmers and chefs and judges arrive and are seated at a long table in the middle of a field. They are wearing jackets, so I guess it might be kind of chilly. No one is wearing gloves, though.

Weird interstitial. Kenny has a cashmere robe, and struts around the house like he's a pimp. Everyone gets a kick out of Kenny, and he has many nicknames: Black Daddy, Black Lightning, Black Angus, Sunshine, and Beast. And I think Kelly has a little crush on him.

Kenny interviews that he wants to win the challenge, especially since he didn't cook one of the main entrees. He thinks that will be even a greater victory. Ed reminds us that they are serving family style, so they just plop all of the dishes on the table instead of presenting each dish, one at a time. They are, however, judged one at a time, and here they are:

Amanda: Country vegetable minestrone with smoked tomato broth, which the judges find difficult because the vegetables aren't uniformly cooked, mostly because she cut them poorly. Patrick comments on "the rusticity," which I don't think is a word, and I definitely don't think is a compliment.

Stephen: Farm salad of balsamic onion, egg, apple, with a cabernet vinaigrette and garlic dressing. Padma finds it wet and heavy and Tom gets all worked up over the bruised lettuce. But seriously, you're making a salad, and you didn't have time to go through and pick out the best lettuce? What else did he do? Chop some apples and eggs? Is that really cooking? I could make that by visiting the salad bar at my local grocery store. And I would definitely pick out only the best lettuce.

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Top Chef

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