More cheftestants pull up to Casa Casuarina, which is of course, the very same place where Gianni Versace was murdered. Good vibes, people, good vibes. Hung Huynh, twenty-nine and executive sous chef at Guy Savoy, announces that he is "the loud one, the opinionated one" and he also proudly bears the title of CPA: "certified professional asshole." I wonder how hard it is to be a professional asshole. Given the amount of them running around out there, it must be a fairly competitive field. Hung looks uncannily like Yen, the Chinese acrobat in Ocean's Eleven. Micah Edelstein, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Kara Janx, is thirty-two and owns The Wandering Chefs Caterers. She thinks cooking is an art and compares it to Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Sandee Birdsong, of the skunked mohawk, is a thirty-nine-year-old executive chef at Tantra in Miami. She became a chef three years ago because she wanted her career to be her passion.

Although we haven't yet met all the cheftestants, we jump into the scenes of them mingling, eating, and drinking at Versace's old haunt. I glimpse a bottle of Moët and think how lucky they are not to be subjected to the Korbel. Lia Bardeen, twenty-seven, is the executive sous chef at Jean-Georges. Awesome. I only got to eat there once but it was fabulous. Jean-Georges was doing foams back then, which was about six years ago, and I thought that was the end of them. As we left, we saw an overly made up Dylan McDermott eating in the café -- AOL Time-Warner scored us a dining room reservations -- with his agent and wearing a weird purple turtleneck. Sara points out that the cheftestants all appear to be chefs, sous chefs, or business owners. Yeah, there aren't any home cooks this year. Next, we meet CJ. The BFG, who stands head and shoulders over nearly everyone else. The cancer survivor, who is in complete remission. I sort of like how he says, "I came down with cancer," like it was nothing more traumatic than the odd cold or flu bug. He ends his intro with, "I have one false testicle and I am ready to cook." Tasty. Actually, I had no idea there was such a thing as false testicles but now I know better. More than that, I now know that there are false testicles out there for CATS! Yes, it's true. In order to boost your cat's self-esteem, you can grace their furry bottoms with Neuticles. They can run you between $73 and $329 a pair. Of course, you can buy them singly but it looks like there's a saving if you buy two. They come in all sizes, too, from large to petite. Now, how is that going to help your pet's self-esteem? Going around knowing that he's got "petite" or "XXsmall" falsies? We live in a strange, strange world, my friends.