Top Chef
Food For The People

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TGI Top Chef

It's morning, and we hear Frank sawing logs in the bottom bunk. "Wake up, you snoring beast," Marcel says almost sultrily and throws something at Frank's Breathe-Righted face. I love those things. Glowering, Son of Sam rubs his face and wonders if Frank should be his next victim. Marcel tells us, "I've got culinary knowledge, and I'm best at avant-garde culinary gastronomy." He goes on that other cheftestants don't have the knowledge and experience he has. Betty tells us that the "casual comfort food" is what she, Mia, and Michael have experience preparing. Michael drawls to us that he doesn’t care about other chefs, because, dude, you know, dude, he, like, totally cooks, like, good food, you know? He goes on, "I have a little strategy, I want to stay in the middle because I don't want people to think, like, I'm a threat." Flounder, dude, no one thinks you're a threat.

The cheftestants file into their Kenmore Kitchen, which, according to Emily's Chow interview, sucks major ass. In the interview, she goes off on the burners, the ovens that screw up their temperatures (which might explain Lee Anne's fiasco last season), and the fact that the cheftestants all joked they didn't want to win because they didn't want to be saddled with such inferior appliances. They seem to be good enough for a home kitchen, but not at all for a restaurant kitchen. I love Emily for dishing that to us. Padma stands in front of the cheftestants wearing Nair-sponsored shorts and says, "As you know, two chefs are gone, and there are THIRteen of you left. Many of you are used to cooking for fine dining customers, but only THIRty-eight percent of AMERicans EAT in FINE dining restaurants. We want to see if you understand how to create original and exciting food... for the MAN on the street."

Side note: did anyone watch Martha last Monday when Padmadala was her guest? Not only does Martha snark on Padmadala's shorts, which of course, we're all doing, but Martha lets loose her green-eyed monster just days before Halloween. She tells her audience that she saw Padmadala at The Today Show and she saw "this beautiful woman, and she's in this pink dress that's very, very, very form-fitting." Martha then makes sure to add, "And I didn't know who you were at first." Which is a bit of an ouch, you know? All poor Padmadala can say, very politely, is, "Oh." Padmadala then goes on to pay Martha some very nice compliments after which Martha says, "Now, I'm not supposed to mention this but I do know your husband." Padmadala nods, a bit annoyed, I think because it's been reported she wants her professional life kept separate from that of her husband's. Clearly, that was her desire going onto Martha's show, but Martha decided to mention it anyway. You can see Padmadala even make a slightly annoyed face at the mention. And why does Martha mention it anyway? I'll tell you why. Martha wants to make sure everyone knows that before there was even a Padmadala in the picture, Martha had Salman Rushdie over to her house "a couple of times." Padmadala finally gets a word in edgewise and says, "Yes, you made him a hamburger, he said. And I asked him what that was like and he said, 'Well, you know, it's Martha Stewart, so --'" Martha then quickly tries to interrupt saying, "I made him hors d'oeuvres one night, too." "' -- it was the most perfect hamburger,'" Padmadala manages to finish quoting her husband. "Well, he's wonderful," Martha says dismissively. It just seemed to me a very jealous exchange on Martha's part. Here Padmadala is, telling her how excited she is to be on Martha's show and how great she thinks Martha is, and Martha has to get in these little digs about mentioning Padmadala's famous husband when she's not supposed to mention him and also having Padmadala's famous husband over for dinner. Several times! It smacked of, "Well, you might look good in shorts and a very, very, very, form-fitting pink dress, but I didn't even know who you were when I first saw you and also? I knew your husband first." [Optional stuck out tongue]

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