Top Chef
Food Of Love

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Bye Bye, Turdie
At the Judge's Table, Colicchio tells Stephen that Madame S loved his dessert and found him to be very handsome. Stephen preens disgustingly. However -- and I totally love Colicchio for this "however" -- Colicchio thought the champagne was too dry. He thought a sweeter wine would have worked better: "I think the opposites of the two just didn't come together." Stephen is shocked, SHOCKED to learn that he doesn't know absolutely everything about wine. Miguel makes a point of saying that he feels very honored to be at that table that night. Aw. Falkner gives him props for having different "courses" and making it over-the-top and fun. Gail hands Brian accolades for his dish. Miguel wins the challenge. Stephen looks puzzled by this, but unfortunately it's the exact same puzzled look he gave when Colicchio told him his wine was too dry, so thanks, Bravo, but: not buying it.

The judges call back Andrea, Dave, Cynthia, and Lisa and tell them they represent the bottommost rung of the challenge. Falkner tells Dave that she was a little freaked out by the flesh tones of his desserts. Come on, hasn't she heard of HuFu? It's the healthy human flesh alternative! Dave throws up his hands in self-flagellation and admits that he went too far "with the bondage and all that shit." Heh. He cracks the entire table up by saying with all the dongs and dildoes he didn't think it would be a big deal if he made tits. Colicchio asks Andrea what she could have done to make her dessert sexier. Andrea says that happens to really like her dessert, so she's shocked that she's even there. Oh, dear. "It was a midday snack, I've seen it before," Gail steps in, "there was no originality, there was no sense of real pizzazz." Colicchio points out that this is Andrea's second time to the table. And then a voice-over takes over to say that Andrea knows her weakness is presentation but she didn't take the opportunity to step it up. Gail and the Bot don't think that Lisa sold her dessert. Next, Gail points out to Cynthia that this is the second Elimination Challenge where she has told them what she did wrong and not what she did right. Cynthia agrees. Cynthia tells us that she didn't explain to any of the judges that her father is dying because it's not fair to the other chefs. Wow, that's pretty awesome of her. Cynthia then tells the judges that she knows her food isn't speaking for her that week, and comes very close to breaking down in tears but fights it admirably.

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Top Chef

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