At Team Famine, Mia explains their strawberries, saying, "Well, only in California can you find strawberries in the wintertime." A) It's not winter right now, so stop pretending that shit; B) I live in Northern California -- a stone's throw from the self-proclaimed "strawberry capital of the world" -- and the strawberries I get in the winter are from South America; C) If California had access to strawberries in winter, so would the rest of the country because I was buying Watsonville/Driscoll strawberries in BOSTON! The halved strawberries are filled with rosemary mascarpone and topped with crumbled pancetta. CRUMBLED pancetta, not "pancetta brunoise" as the toffee-nosed Bravo CRAPhics claim. A brunoise is a precise cut, those are CRUMBLES. I mean, if they really did brunoise the pancetta before they cooked it to crumbles, that was a stupid waste of time. This show is crumbelievable. Mia calls the pancetta "fancy bacon." Ted Allen moves on to the seared scallops with ginger-grapefruit marmalade perched on spears of Belgian endive. "What was here that we missed?" Padmadala asks, gesturing at an empty space. Given how bare that table is, I think she needs to be more specific. Mia says that Michael is just coming with it. Indeed, Michael arrives with his surf-and-turf canapés. Michael describes the canapé as, "Steak, lobster, basil-dill salad on toast." The lobster tail meat is cut into medallions to better rest on the toast rounds.

The night is over, and Team Feast toasts each other with cocktails. Mia props Elia's leadership up to us. Elia tells us, "Teamwork in the competition is the hardest thing because at the end of the day you get judged. I'm the leader they chose and I don't want to go home." Why do all of the scenes of Elia doing the interview-confessional look like a commercial for Soul-Glo?