Team Feast. Son of Sam advises Marcel that Colicchio doesn't like skin on bell peppers. Such pickiness. Colicchio -- in flip flops, no less -- arrives for his Sniff 'n' Sneer. Team Feast gives him an idea of what they are doing. Colicchio moves on to Team Famine and upon hearing about their four appetizers, pokes, "The other team is doing about ten to fifteen, do you think that's a mistake?" There's some scheduled silence before Cliff explains they decided to stick with four they could do really, really well. After confirming that Elia is the leader, Colicchio flip flops away. Cliff tells us, "We decided not to let Chef Colicchio's comments deter us, and we're putting out a great product." Michael exclaims over the idea of doing fifteen appetizers. Elia tells us she doesn't compare herself to others and then change her mind based on what they're doing. Marcel tells us he was thinking how Team Feast is going to blow the judges away with their bounty, but at the same time he was realizing that the other team was playing it safe. "Simplicity is the sign of perfection," he says, quoting Curnonsky (aka M.E Sailland, the "Prince of Gastronomy"). Typical Marcel. It's probably what he has tattooed above his ass.
The judges show up. Instead of Gail, we get Ted Allen, and the guest judge of the evening is Lee Hefter, executive chef of Spago. And, of course, Tom Colicchio, "Head Judge." Bald Head Judge. All the guys are dressed exactly the same: dark sport coats over button-down shirts (no ties) and jeans. Wonder if Carson got them a three-for-one deal. Lee Hefter and Tom Colicchio are going to be especially hard to tell apart -- they're both stocky bald men of approximately the same height. Looking at how they're lined up -- Clone-icchio, Padmadala, Colicchio, and Ted Allen -- Mathra notes that all you need to do is shove Ted Ilan next to them and you'd have a human palindrome. I don't even know what to say about Padmadala's outfit other than the fact that it looks like a mini-skirt version of what someone named "Miss Kitty" would wear while running a saloon and brothel in Painted Gulch.
The sun goes down and the teams set up for the party. Party-goers walk down the red carpet, grabbing Smirnoff-placed drinks. Son of Sam plans that he and Ted Ilan will keep cooking while Marcel and Betty serve the guests. Betty grins and winks and babbles at the guests. Team Feast's table looks filled and attractively set up. They even stuck their shrimp and pepper skewers in a flat of wheatgrass, which makes them look like flowers. Very nice. By comparison, Team Famine's table looks starved for attention. Mia and Michael are out front while Cliff and Elia continue cooking in the back. Michael flirtatiously brings some women a platter of the strawberries. Mia explains to guests, "We didn't want to spend so much time on quantity, we wanted to be able to focus all our energy on the quality of our dishes." Mia, they don't care. Some random guy tells the camera that the chick he's with said she could probably make most of the stuff that Team Feast was putting out, but Team Famine was a bit fancier, more high-end. Mia has now started to tell guests that they have more food coming out. Hey, is that Sandra Lee or is it the Real Housewife of Orange County who is her scary doppelganger? Mia calls out to Michael to rush the surf and turfs. Michael is slowly sauntering away. Why don't they communicate via their phones rather than Michael's slow food movement? Some rude guest tells Mia, "It better be coming out soon." Is that a threat, dude? Mia promises it is and says she can see them through the window. The guest informs her he'll be keeping an eye on them. Keep an eye on this, ass. Elia explains that because she wanted to cook everything to order, stocking the table was taking longer. What is in the corner of Michael's mouth? It's like a smear of pizza sauce or something. Oh, god. Is it a cold sore? Has he taken to sucking his wife's panties? Oh, Michael. Elia pleads with Michael to entertain the guests. "It's kind of hard when they want food and there's nothing out there!" Michael protests. At Team Famine's table, Ted Allen wonders teasingly to Mia, "Has your team left you by yourself again?" Michael suddenly arrives with more food. Ted Allen asks if they need his help. Mia tells him he can help out by enjoying himself. In the kitchen, Elia tells Cliff they should cook more scallops.