Top Chef
Holiday Spirit

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Mia the Martyr

When Padmadala reassembles the cheftestants together, Mixologist says that Mia and Betty were at the bottom of the rum barrel. We're treated to Mia telling us she's getting sick of the whole damn competition and she just wants to go home. Ask and you shall do it yourself. Mixologist's top picks are Cliff, Sam, and Michael. Cliff wins the Immunity. Aw, poor bartending Michael. Next, the cheftestants draw knives to divide up into two teams. Forget the Orange and Black designations, I already decided to call these teams Feast and Famine in my recaplet, so I'm sticking with that. Padmadala keeps pretending it's the holiday party season and says the Elimination challenge is to cater Los Angeles Magazine's Christmas Bash. They have fifteen hundred dollars for food and equipment and four hours to prep. They have to prepare "a fabulous cocktail party display" for the two hundred attending guests. Betty sighs to us that this challenge is one that "does threaten [her] livelihood" because it's a catered event for people she regularly has as catering clients. I think that Slow Comfortable Retch of hers threatens her livelihood.

Ted Ilan nestles up to Betty, who babytalks, "I'm glad I'm on a team with youuuu." Ted Ilan says to Betty, "I think we should just agree that Sam is our organizer." Betty agrees. Ted Ilan leaps over to where Marcel and Sam are and says, "Marcel? I think we can all agree that Sam is our organizing leader." Marcel looks a bit annoyed by this but agrees, "Sounds good to me." And as his first act as Team Feast leader, Son of Sam addresses Betty and Marcel, saying, "You guys have to get over your little... " They both agree. HA! Nice one. Too bad I still think Son of Sam instigated Toothbrushgate between Frank and Marcel. Son of Sam talks about how being team leader is good and bad. You can come out on top and look awesome or lose the challenge and be blamed for it. He has experience running a kitchen crew of fifteen, so he's up for this.

Team Feast starts making a list of what they should serve, and Betty tells us they ended up with a list of about thirteen items. Betty then drops this bit of intelligence, "We have to throw an LA party, we damn well better offer great food." Because you wouldn't want to offer great food at a party in another location. Team Famine -- comprised of Cliff, Michael, Mia, and headed by Elia -- sounds like they've planned two different things. Mia asks, "Does someone think we should have four different kinds?" No one seems to be saying that. Elia decided they should have "two tops." Mia opines, "If we only have two, they better be fucking kick ass." Everyone agrees. Elia doesn't believe in quantity over quality. Team Famine brainstorms. Smoked salmon rolls and gazpacho are thrown out. Mia trots out the tasty but decidedly tired Gorgonzola-stuffed figs wrapped in prosciutto. Elia doesn't want cheeses. Cliff says, "I'd rather not use Gorgonzola because not everyone likes Gorgonzola." Mia says that particular cheese was just a suggestion. Mia bitches to us that she's a professional caterer who has a lot of valuable experience to bring to the challenge. Huh. Why didn't I ever know she was a caterer? I thought she just owned a restaurant in Oakdale. More cuts of Mia's suggestions and opinions being negated. Mia finally announces that she feels her professional opinions are not being appreciated. Elia gently scoffs at this. Cliff tries to get something out of Mia, but she's just, "No, I'm done." Mia bitches to us about being ignored.

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