Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: A-
This Land is My Land

Weird interstitial. While in the Stew Room, the cheftestants divide up into those who drink and those who don't. And then there's a subset of those who drink called "Those Who Make Dice Out of Giant Boxes and Play Craps and Bet Fruit Snacks." I would probably be in that group. A few people (Tiffany, Ed) are all clutching their pearls that some people aren't taking the competition seriously. The cooking is done, and they're just waiting to hear who goes home. Why not blow off some steam? Lighten up.

It's finally time to find out who's going home. He starts out by telling Stephen, "if Cleveland rocks, your dish didn't." AM I RIGHT, FOLKS? Seriously, Tom. Leave the jokes out. That was terrible. Jacqueline's mousse wasn't well-made. John didn't show who he was as a chef. Tim didn't represent his region well. So who's going home? It is... John. Oh, thank God. I don't know how much more of those gross dreadlocks, weird glasses, and giant teeth I could take. If you watched the Extended Judges' Table clip on the official site, they pointed out that he bought pre-made pastry and canned mangoes, so he really only made the mousse. He's like the Sandra Lee of this show. He deserved to go home. How did that dish take him five hours? Anyway, he claims that he's grown as a person. Hopefully he hasn't grown more hair.

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Top Chef




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