While she's dicing onions, Marisa slices her finger. "Great," she says, rolling her eyes and grabbing for wads of paper towels and the First-Aid kit. Heh, that was my reaction when I sliced off the top of my finger while prepping for a catering gig. It's an annoyance. I didn't care that I couldn't quite stop the bleeding, I didn't care that it hurt like a mo-fo -- all I cared about was not losing any time. Oh, and also searching through the twenty pounds of sliced onions to make sure my fingernail didn't make its way into the spring onion-scented rice. Carlos sweetly comes over and says, "I don't know what I'm doing over there, so I might as well help you out." Aw. For all his four-star swaggering, I like him. "This is what happens when pastry chefs handle sharp knives," Marisa jokes as Carlos bandages her up.
Colicchio arrives for his Sniff 'n' Sneer. At first I thought he was wearing a blue denim shirt, but then I realized it had too many buttons -- it's actually a chef's coat. I hate chef's coats that aren't white, they look retarded. Colicchio and Marisa laugh over her cut finger and Colicchio advises, "Keep your fingers out of the way." That's real helpful. Colicchio wonders how Elia feels about the ingredients. "I hate the cheese," Elia says quietly. Heh. Elia tells us, "I didn't know what to do with the American Cheese, which is this funky product that shouldn't exist." Hey! It's my grilled cheese sandwich favorite! (Don't tell my bosses at Ye Olde Stanke Cheeseshope, though.) However, pairing it with escargot is pretty stomach-turning. Colicchio moves on to Suyai who makes the mistake of being honest with him. She tells him that she has never cooked worse in her life. Colicchio asks her if she thinks it's a good idea for her to tip her hand to him. Well, I don't know, Coldickio, what do you expect? You're in the kitchen, sniffing and sneering, how can Suyai really hide what's going on? Do you want her to lie? Suyai tells him she doesn't know what else to say. Outside the kitchen, Colicchio sneers that given Suyai's lack of confidence, it's going to be hard for her to finish in the top ten.
Time's up. Carlos presents his Artichoke Potato Cake & Escargot, Coconut Sambal (Indonesian and Malaysian pepper-based condiment) Peanut Sauce. That's how Bravo's graphics department describes it, but since they use ampersands far too liberally, have questionable punctuation, and constantly spell things wrong, I don't have much faith in their description. It looks like a cheese-topped cake but I'll buy that it's made up of artichokes and potatoes, because those could easily get bound together and cook evenly. It also looks like there might be an escargot perched on the top of the cake and off to the side, there's a snail shell filled with something liquid, perhaps the Sambal Peanut Sauce? Carlos explains that the thing on top is actually a "fire-roasted artichoke" and says there are fennel seeds in the escargot. I still don't know where the escargot is -- maybe in the shell with the sauce? After tasting, Josie tells us she was disappointed in Carlos' seasoning, especially since he introduced himself as a four-star restaurant owner.













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