Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | 609 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
'Cuz She's Lia-ving On A Jet Plane

We get a Gong of Bad Things Are Afoot when Hung pulls his banana mousse tart out of a freezer and tests its consistency. He wonders if the freezer is working and tells us his stuff isn't setting up. Maybe he should use some powdered gelatin. Tre is reimagining the tarte Tatin served at his restaurant by getting in touch with his feminine side and decorating the tarte with some pastry stars and triangles. With five minutes to go, Hung thinks he has to go to "plan B." Plan B is to take his gloppy pie and plop it on a plate, the diarrheic edges shored up by strawberries. "That's how you save a dripping pie!" Hung informs us, as if imparting some mystical wisdom. Problem is, the strawberry dikes can't keep the Hershey squirt on the actual pie crust, which is now pulling itself away as if to distance its frozen ass from such an embarrassing display of incompetence. As you do. Hung had already decided, "It was a little runny, but it was still a mousse." Dude, mousses (moussei? mousseaux?) AREN'T runny unless Bullwinkle ate a bad batch of birch bark. By definition, they are creamy, airy, fluffy, and moussey, so please stop soliloquizing out of your ass.

Dale, another cheftestant who should probably learn that "hubris" has nothing to do with a Jewish ceremony, brags, "I got this one in the bag. I definitely feel that these two dishes are some of the best dishes that I have made in this entire competition." You know what? I take that back, it's not necessarily hubris with Dale because he's never acted obnoxiously superior. It's more like, "Oh, sad, I've already seen this and I know how it's going to turn out, so Dale? Please, please, PLEASE just shut up now before you compromise yourself any further!"

Padma and Chef Frumkin step forward to sample Hung's banana, rum, and chocolate pie with spicy peanuts. With strawberry dikes. "It didn't have enough time to set, but it's delicious the way it is," Hung explains quickly. "Why…didn't it have enough time to set? I saw you had a lot of time on your hands," Padma interrogates. "Yeah, um, I didn't use the regular dark chocolate so it didn't set as hard," Hung blithers. According to my pastry consultant, milk chocolate doesn't always set up the way dark chocolate does and often needs gelatin. She thinks the lack of the milk solids in the dark chocolate help it to seize and be less homogenous with the whipped cream and therefore gain some structure. It doesn't explain why milk chocolate would need the stabilizing effect of gelatin if he were just using egg whites, though. Even more confusing, Alton Brown's recipe for chocolate mousse uses heavy cream and dark chocolate AND gelatin. Some cooks and chefs simply feel more comfortable using gelatin because, when done correctly, it is certain to firm up your liquids. Personally, I hate the consistency of gelatinized stuff, so I always risk it. However, it's pretty obvious Hung did so many other things wrong to contribute to his chocolate mooze beyond using unstabilized milk chocolate.

Top Chef

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