Top Chef
Latin Lunch

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | 1 USERS: A+
'Cuz She's Lia-ving On A Jet Plane

Dale -- who is remarkably pumped about this challenge, considering his DESSERT DEBACLE -- is making a strawberry-saffron free-form tart and something with salmon. He wants to redeem himself. Just after Sara M. tells us that none of them are comfortable with desserts, Joey From New York drops this bomb, "What nobody knows is that I have some pastry experience." Rock would be so proud of your gamesmanship. Joey goes on that he didn't want to take a risk in last week's Elimination Challenge and that's why he neglected to volunteer with Team Dessert. Moley, moley, moley. Hung makes another one of his "whoop"-ing noises as he runs, half-crouched, through the kitchen gauntlet. He's just bizarre. Howie is whisking hard in a bowl over a pot of simmering water and he's sweating. Again. Howie, please, bandana yourself.

We get a Gong of Bad Things Are Afoot when Hung pulls his banana mousse tart out of a freezer and tests its consistency. He wonders if the freezer is working and tells us his stuff isn't setting up. Maybe he should use some powdered gelatin. Tre is reimagining the tarte Tatin served at his restaurant by getting in touch with his feminine side and decorating the tarte with some pastry stars and triangles. With five minutes to go, Hung thinks he has to go to "plan B." Plan B is to take his gloppy pie and plop it on a plate, the diarrheic edges shored up by strawberries. "That's how you save a dripping pie!" Hung informs us, as if imparting some mystical wisdom. Problem is, the strawberry dikes can't keep the Hershey squirt on the actual pie crust, which is now pulling itself away as if to distance its frozen ass from such an embarrassing display of incompetence. As you do. Hung had already decided, "It was a little runny, but it was still a mousse." Dude, mousses (moussei? mousseaux?) AREN'T runny unless Bullwinkle ate a bad batch of birch bark. By definition, they are creamy, airy, fluffy, and moussey, so please stop soliloquizing out of your ass.

Dale, another cheftestant who should probably learn that "hubris" has nothing to do with a Jewish ceremony, brags, "I got this one in the bag. I definitely feel that these two dishes are some of the best dishes that I have made in this entire competition." You know what? I take that back, it's not necessarily hubris with Dale because he's never acted obnoxiously superior. It's more like, "Oh, sad, I've already seen this and I know how it's going to turn out, so Dale? Please, please, PLEASE just shut up now before you compromise yourself any further!"

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