Top Chef
Less Is More

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Cheaters Seem to Prosper

We get to Mia, who doesn't impress Chef Goin with her La Bocadita Deliciosa ("little delicious mouth," yeah, I don't know either), which combines a Twinkie with charred banana and strawberry whipped yogurt. She also has a ginger-lime mojito. I know it's been a long time since I worked in an office, but are they selling rum in vending machines now? Because maybe I should think about suiting up and going back. Chef Goin frowns that it tastes like dessert. "That's what it is," Mia nods proudly. "Yeah, but it's supposed to be an amuse bouche," Chef Goin reminds her. Marcel really gets the ick factor going when he explains his Duo of Cracklings (just a fancy way of saying pork rinds) with Lemon and Rice Pudding and a Pamplemousse (fancy way of saying grapefruit) Soda (just a fancy way of saying Fresca) with tropical fruit. Chef Goin thinks he is another one who forayed too far into the dessert arena. We end with Ted Ilan and his deviled egg with Corn Nuts, deep-fried salami, pear nectar (gag), and fig paste (double gag).

Padmadala asks Chef Goin for her opinion on the Mob-sponsored vending machine Quickfire dishes. First, Mia gets dinged for making too much of a dessert, and then Chef Goin tells Michael, "I get this vibe from you that you could not care less. And I feel like nobody kidnapped you to put you on this show to try to win against all these people who are trying really hard." As Chef Goin was talking, Michael was grunting unintelligibly. When he finally does get a chance to speak, I sort of wish he didn't. He stones that he sort of looked at the vending machine and sort of went blank. Chef Goin points out that everyone around him managed pretty well and asks if he saw that. "Yeah, I did, I looked around at everyone's plates and I was just like, you know." He really doesn't have two brain cells to sear together, does he? Chef Goin liked what Frank, Ted Ilan, and Carlos made, although she points out that the fig purée and pear nectar were unnecessarily sweet. Carlos wins, his seed loaf giving him immunity.

Elimination Challenge. After pulling knives, the cheftestants are divided into four teams: black, white, orange, and red. Coinkidinkishly, Marcel and Betty are on the same team. Of course. Both Betty and Marcel tell us how very not thrilled they are by this situation. Marcel even calls Betty his "arch nemesis," like we're in some big comic book. Okay, fine, he's Wolverine and Betty is Chop-Chop. Betty tells us that she called him some names that she knows weren't nice and she's sorry for it because she's an adult and she knows she shouldn't talk like that. However, she thinks he's a "noodge." Because suddenly she's Joe Lieberman.

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Top Chef

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