After the commercials, Padmadala puts me into a coma with her explanation of the challenge. They will be making an entrÃ©e, side dish, and dessert, and the entire meal cannot exceed five hundred calories because they will be serving the meal to kids at Camp Glucose. Can I just say that I think that's a horrible name for a camp? Why couldn't they call it Camp Glucowatha, or something? Camp Glucose is just so scientific and sterile. It's like, instead of horseback riding, you're getting on a scale! Instead of lanyards, you're injecting yourself with insulin! I mean, I know that's what they're probably doing, but do they have to say it so baldly in the camp's name? So, obviously it's a fitness camp like the kind Jelly Belly went to and gorged himself on cheese sandwiches in the middle of the night. It's for overweight and diabetic kids, ages eight to eighteen. Ted Ilan doesn't like the idea of having to count calories when making food, "I think it should be all about adjusting flavors and feeling... feeling food." Feeling food. Is that like when you go to a haunted house and feel eyeballs (which are really peeled grapes or cocktail onions), and intestines (which is really cold spaghetti), and tongue (which is actually tongue)?
The cheftestants shop with a budget of one hundred dollars, and Son of Sam reminds us that he, like Wilfred Brimley, has diabetes. Cliff is glad the Son of Sam is on his team since dude always has to be careful of counting carbs and eating healthy. Totally evoking Stephen and Candice when they argued over what to make for the Boys and Girls Club, Marcel suggests prosciutto-wrapped asparagus and Betty nixes it asking, "When you were a kid, when you were eight years old, do you think you would've eaten asparagus?" My husband did. But then again, I didn't. I hated most green things. Also, why are we assuming Marcel was ever a kid? I think he sprung fully-formed from his mother's bouffant. Betty really thinks they should make pizza. Marcel tells us this challenge is not about the bad blood sausage between him and Betty, it's about the food.
The cheftestants return to find three nutritionists waiting for them in the Krappy Kenmore Kitchens. The nutritionists will meticulously go over every aspect of their recipes and menus to make sure none of their meals exceed five hundred calories. Josie explains that the nutritionist signs off on their recipes at the end of the day and they can't deviate from them. We get a montage of the nutritionists telling the cheftestants the caloric value of various recipes and foods. "Your cupcakes, Marisa, are about a hundred-twenty, a hundred-twenty-five, calories each without the frosting or your garnish." Is that with or without the crotch juice? Hey, I didn't put the calendar out there! Carlos comments, "She was measuring and looking at everything. It almost felt like the dietary Nazi." If you ever get put in a concentration camp, you're in for a big surprise. Frank, who is on Team Black with Marcel and Betty, tells us that their nutritionist had never seen a low-cal pizza before, and said nutritionist was skeptical. However, Frank says that with his Italian background, he was pretty confident in what he was doing. The pizzas do look pretty tasty in the oven -- nice thin crusts, not overly cheesed, lovely. Betty explains she was making meringue cookies out of egg whites because they make a nice and crispy cookie. Also, I'm sure she chose them because egg whites have only about seventy-some calories per egg. Betty ran into some difficulty because she put thirty egg whites in a Kitchen-Aid mixer but couldn't bring them to the stiff peak stage. Turns out, she was trying to whip them stiff with Splenda, rather than sugar. Marisa correctly points out to us, "Pastry is a science, and if you put something into it that has a different molecular structure, it's going to react differently."