They head off to Camp Glucochobee. Padmadala and the judges, including Suzanne Goin, are there already. Padmadala tells the cheftestants they will set up, and then the kids will be given each team's menu. A single member from each team will talk up their meal to the kids after which the kids will place their orders. The teams set up. "Yay. Yay, yay, yay," St. Betty crows over their pizzas. Shut up, cheater. Each team thinks they're going to win. Mia tells us that Michael will be their team rep since he is "a big kid at heart." A big stoned kid. Picturesquely leading a few of them by their hands, the Pied Padma brings the kids over to the cheftestants and they all sit down at picnic tables. Elia tells us she was really happy to be cooking for them. I just could not love her any more.
For Team Black, Frank presents their meal. After he tells them what they get with Team Black, a kid shyly asks, "Can we get the pizza and the lemonade?" Aww, he was afraid he had to choose one over the other. I hope that's not a reflection on what Camp Glucoyapi feeds them. Frank confirms that they get the whole shebang. Next up, Josie presents for Team White in her hernia voice. At the end she asks if anyone has any questions. None of them do, but I think I saw one of the kids giving her a weight-lifting belt. Carlos riles up the crowd and tells them about how Son of Sam is a diabetic -- cut to a few of pre-teen girls smiling -- and that Cliff has a physical fitness background, before detailing his team's menu. Michael steps up, "What's happenin' campers? [Anemic cheer] I'm Mike from the Red Team. I kinda wanna, like, get The Wave goin', yah know? [Mike makes "wave noises" and "wave finger motions" which make me think he doesn't actually know what The Wave is.] Naw, anyways, we got a pretty killer menu, it's, like, chicken on a stick with some barbecue sauce, it's grilled, it's awesome. And we have a little coleslaw, some raisins are in it, and to top it all off, we got some old-fashioned fudge cake with fudge frosting. Let's rock and roll." Kids, this is your brain on drugs. Team Red gets five orders for their food; Team Orange gets seven; Team White gets seven; Team Black gets a whopping fifteen orders, because once you go black, you never go hungry. Michael mutters, "That there better be some damn good pizza." The other teams are demoralized.
The cheftestants dart off to plate their food. So, how is this going to work? Do we assume that the Black Team has already won simply based on their popularity? I mean, since the kids don't get to taste all the dishes like they did on Operation Monkfish, they can't pick a favorite. I guess the actual judges will be tasting the food as well. The cheftestants serve the kids their meals. The kids like the food. One girl says, "Step AWAY from my fudge cake." The judges eat the food and make comments that are actually sort of hard to decipher, due to their full mouths. At one table, Sam says, "You're diabetic and you didn't order the turkey meatballs?" The Fudge Cake Girl says, "I'm sorry, I didn't know before this!" She totally thinks Sam is cute. One of the girls says, "I wanna go marry the hot diabetic over there." The kids like the pizza, but one little critic says he thinks there might be too much sauce on it. The judges go over to talk to all the kids. One kid liked the chicken parm and vegetables, but not the coleslaw. Another long-winded mini-Bruni decides that the smoothie was sour and would have been better with less grapes and less cantaloupe. Other kids thought the smoothie should have been thicker.