Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 1597 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Vegetables and Off-Color Jokes

Robin starts going crazy in the produce walk-in. She grabs a few of like every vegetable in there and is all fired up about the fresh garbanzo beans, which she's never seen before. She muttering and cackling to herself the whole time like a crazy person. And she decides to make something she's never made before, so maybe she is a crazy person.

Mike I. is bragging that he can cook anything and he doesn't care. And also his mom was a vegan. So there! Why does every person on this show always have some experience with the type of cuisine being cooked, but no one has ever watched a television show, apparently? Bunch of communists.

Eli jokes that vegetarians are lower human beings, but in reality, he feels bad for them because they don't always get good food. He plans to use eggplant as his meat replacement. There's an original idea.

Michael V. says that he cooks artistically and looks at what ingredients he has to work with before making decisions. He started out with asparagus and thought about what he could serve with it. Then he remembered a chef he used to work with who mixed banana and polenta. Keep in mind, this combination was not Michael's original idea; he stole it from somewhere else. That's totally part of cooking, but maybe he shouldn't take total credit for it if it goes over well.

Mike I. is trying to boil his leeks, but he realizes that even though he put the pot on the heat a while ago, it's not boiling yet. Rather than try to figure it out, he just lets it go for a while longer, and then when it's still not boiling, he investigates further. Finally, he realizes that his pot is wobbly, so it wasn't getting direct heat, and thus took longer to heat up. Instead of changing his game plan to account for the lost time, he decides to just stick with it because "gold medals are lost in the last six minutes of the competition when people change their minds." He made that up. That's not a saying. And not true.

Jen says that she'll never be a vegetarian personally but she can cook vegetarian food as needed. She's not happy with the produce that she got, since it doesn't fit in with her original plans. Bryan liked his concept but he realizes that he had problems with timing and will just finish with no time to spare. Mike I. is ready to plate but he realizes that his leeks aren't fully cooked. He decides to serve them anyway, because he's confident he can pull it off. Robin starts plating and she realizes that she doesn't have garbanzo beans on every plate. Three plates go out with no beans. She's frantic as usual. It makes me anxious. Can't she specify who gets which plate? Like don't give the judges the plates with no beans?

Top Chef

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