Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1034 USERS: B-
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What Just Happened?

People start running around grabbing ingredients and equipment. Dale T., like Blais, is worried about cooking to an unknown palate. Dale L. is worried because he knows that kids are picky eaters. So his strategy is just to throw a bunch of sweet and crunchy stuff into some marshmallow fluff and call it crack for kids. And frankly, it's not a terrible strategy. Then everyone is looking for sugar in the pantry, but no one can find it. Fabio yells out, "Who has the shooooo-gar?" Turns out that Dale T. has the sugar on his station, and Casey explains in an interview that the proper etiquette for a common ingredient like that is to take it out, use it, and then return it to the pantry so that others can find it. Instead, everyone has to run around looking for it, and then visit Dale's station with a cup and scoop some out. That is kind of a dick move. I can see Dale's position, which is probably that he doesn't have time to run it back, but it's not like he took some esoteric ingredient that no one else needs. It's sugar. They're making a snack for kids. Nearly everyone will need it at some point. Thus, selfish.

Mike and Jen are cooking next to each other, and Mike jokes that he's making chocolate polenta bars, if he can execute it. He interviews that his mom probably did make him snacks in brown paper bags when he was growing up, but he probably blocked it out, because they were so bad. I hope his mom isn't watching, since he just insulted her cooking. Although since Mike is her son, I'm sure she has bigger problems. Marcel, on the other hand, has a mom who took over his school's lunch program to make it healthier, so he loves her cooking and loves cooking for kids. I'll bet kids like Marcel. He kind of looks like a cartoon character and he makes weird-looking food.

Spike comes from a restaurant family and always had to make the homemade potato chips growing up, so that's what he's making today. He's using a deli slicer instead of a mandoline to slice the chips, but he knows what he's doing, obviously. Kids probably like Spike too. He looks like Poochie. Tiffani is having some trouble with the liquid nitrogen and asks a passing Blais for help. He tries to just yell something out, but it doesn't work, so he takes a second to run over and fix it for her. Blais can't stand to see liquid nitrogen used improperly. It was nice of him to help, but it must be annoying that every other cheftestant (except maybe Marcel and Angelo) probably ask for his help with that stuff. Tiffani goes on, in an interview, to redeem herself A LOT in the eyes of everyone. She reminds us of the challenge during her season where they had to cook for the Boys and Girls Club, and she was an insufferable prig about how real chefs wouldn't deign to cater to the child's palate. Yikes, reading through that recap, I'm remembering more about why I hated both Stephen and Tiffani. Anyway, Tiffani now admits that she was an asshole. And with that interview, anyone who had residual hatred for her must feel it wash away, right? She was always a good chef but her attitude sucked, and she's showing us that her attitude has changed. She just rocketed up to my top five, easily. Anyway, she knows now that the challenge is to give the kids what they want, so her dish is "somewhere in between a Snowball, a Moon Pie, and a Rice Krispie Treat, if all those three things, like, had a threesome and a baby." I really like her right now. We could hang. Especially if she brought some of those treats she's making. I'm not sure why she needs to use liquid nitrogen to freeze the marshmallows in her dish, but who am I to judge?

Top Chef

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