Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1034 USERS: B-
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What Just Happened?

At the museum, they set up their stations right underneath the dinosaur skeletons. Stephen explains that it's anyone's game, and it really just depends on if the kids want salty (Spike's dish) or sweet (Tiffany's dish). The cheftestants mill around nervously until the kids finally show up. It's a madhouse as they pass out the snacks to the kids. Fabio compares them to both cows and Tasmanian devils. Casey worries a little bit about giving sugar to kids that are already fired up, but then she shrugs, "They're not my kids!" Exactly.

Once the kids have their snacks, Tiffani and Spike do a little campaigning. Spike is slightly more persistent, but doesn't seem to have much luck. The rest of Tiffani's team goes out and tries to get the kids chanting their team name, except for Jamie, who informs us deadpan in an interview, "I don't plan to have children. Ever." Heh. Meanwhile, the kids are all sugared up and probably also excited to be on camera, and they are going bugfuck nuts. One kid screams so raucously that he falls over, then gets back up and screams some more. His mom must be proud.

Padma and Joe Jonas finally show up and there is not nearly as much of a fracas as I expected. Some of the kids look bored, actually. Joe asks which of the kids thought that the Red Team (Spike) won, and there are very few cheers. Padma asks who liked the Blue Team, and the crowd erupts in cheers. So Tiffani wins! Yay! However, what would they have done if it had been close? Do they have an Applause-O-Meter? Anyway, Tiffani has immunity, and she's thrilled, because she knows that the competition this season is fierce.

The kids file out and there are tons of bags and stuff on the floor. Didn't their mothers teach them to take out their garbage? It's like when I leave a movie theater. I get so mad when people don't take their garbage out with them. They put trash cans right by the exits! It couldn't be any easier! You slobs! I would totally make those brats come back in and clean up. Also, get off my lawn. Anyway, the cheftestants are kind of wandering towards the exit when they notice Colicchio entering from the other end of the room, so they walk back toward him, looking apprehensive. Tom announces that their Elimination Challenge is going to start right then, as in, no going home to bed. Now.

Top Chef

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