Scenes From A Top Chef Reunion
Bot comments that they've all proved that they have a way with words and introduces another clip show: "Here's a tribute to our favorite lines from Top Chef." We get Ken saying you flip plates if "they" say your food is crap, Dave's famous bitch line, and Miguel hissing. Next we get Brian's "sexy and succulent," and see clips of him admiring Candice's ass and telling her "you've got a beautiful ass, hands down, looks good." In the studio, Candice is laughing incredulously. We get a several shots of Harold shrugging, "I'm a cook." Porn music cues up to illustrate Dave irritably saying that Harold and Stephen should just go make out because of their comments about his "magical lasagna." After that quote, we get clips of Stephen reclined on a bed lazily watching Harold as Harold pulls a shirt on. It's sort of hysterical, actually. Next up is several clips of cheftestants and others saying, "It's not Top Sommelier." Bleh. Interesting to note that they say it's "uncredited" when it was clearly Chodorow who coined it. Unless he was force-fed that line by producers... Finally, we end with all the chefs saying over and over, "It is what it is." In the studio, the cheftestants are hysterical. Bot hands over a "I'm Not Your Bitch, Bitch" shirt to Dave, but, true to form, Tiffani jumps up ahead of Dave, SNATCHES THE TEE-SHIRT from the Bot, and tells Katie, "No, I'm putting it on, Katie." Bot rolls her eyes back to look at her fellow judges. "It's for Dave," Bot repeats. Dave looks incredulous that Tiffani is taking away his t-shirt. He finally wrests it from her clutchy hands and says, "This is me, this is me, yes!" "This is Dave's moment," Bot says. The cheftestants clap. Man, Tiffani is just... man. What a camera-whoring bitch.
Gail has a question for Brian from the Bravo.com website: "Are all chefs naturally competitive?" Boring. The answer, from Brian, is yes. Even at home, chefs want to be the best at what they do. Cynthia doesn't think all chefs are competitive, and we're moving on because reunion shows are bitches to recap. Much like Tiffani. We watch a series of clips of the cheftestants being competitive, including the incident of Lee Anne's oven getting mysteriously turned off. In the studio, Miguel defends himself over the throwing-Andrea-under-the-bus segment. He never intended to do it, but it happened. When asked for her take on what happened, Andrea says she doesn't have one -- she's totally fine with what went down. Miguel blows kisses to her and says he loves her. In another question from the Bravo.com website, someone wants to know who really did turn down Lee Anne's oven. Gail goes on to ask if Tiffani is aware of the fact that there's a conspiracy on the message boards that she was the one going around turning down ovens and burners. Tiffani is aware of the theories and says, "It's definitely interesting. It's drama, but I think we've all experienced working with ovens we've never worked with before." She's slurring a bit. Cynthia thinks that's bullshit and someone else says, "Ovens are ovens, they're the same." Lee Anne doesn't say anything. Cynthia says, "I would never use that excuse." Dave challenges Tiffani to admit she turned down Lee Anne's oven: "Admit your shit." Ken starts laughing hysterically. Tiffani suddenly gets all overcome with emotion and leaves the studio. Over on the side, she's bent over crying and hyperventilating. Gail mildly wonders if someone should help her and adds, "I think she might be sick." Interesting to note that none of the judges rushes to her aid, but maybe they were told to stay in their seats. Someone from production comforts Tiffani. "I don't want to do this," Tiffani sobs, "I don't want to be someone's monkey." The cheftestants mill around their seats as Bot drones, "Looks like we have a few things we need to sort out." And we go to commercials.