Top Chef
Season 1 Reunion

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Scenes From A Top Chef Reunion

Ah, the reunion show. Bot drones, "Grab your apron, this might get messy." Grab a beer, she might get annoying. ["... 'Might'?" -- Sars]

As the contestants arrive, we get a lot of clips of stuff we've already seen. Remember Cynthia? She was the crazy rice lady who left precipitously to tend to her dying father. Ken, ousted for mouthing off to Hubert Keller and sticking his finger in places it doesn't belong, gives her a hug, which prompts Cynthia, who first tells him he really doesn't need to do that, to comment, "Ooh, you smell the same." I wonder if that's good or bad. I'm thinking bad. Brian, of the sexy and succulent fame, arrives for an "adult beverage." Candice, who left saying she finally could be okay with referring to herself in the third person, arrives. Next we got a screaming Lisa and Andrea, and a dapper Miguel, who fixes his tie in the car window. Stephen quietly joins the group wearing a tee-shirt and jeans, and someone screams, "Oh, my god -- where's the suit?" Hee. Stephen announces that contrary to popular belief, he does not wear a suit in the shower. Well, that's one nightmare cured. Finally, Lee Anne arrives and all the chefs clink Champagne glasses. Looks like the three finalists are already there as well. Bot comes in to kill their fun, and invites them to follow her for the bloodbath.

Colicchio gets right to it and asks if appearing on the show has cooked up wonders for their various careers. For Brian "Banana Ass" Hill, it has. He's been asked to do more events and stuff. Apparently, Howard Stern called Ken and had him on his show. And we all know how careful Howard Stern is about what he sticks in his mouth. Cynthia wants to know if Howard asked him which chicks on the show were sexy. Colicchio jokingly announces that Howard said, "The bald guy was sexy." "The bald guy is sexy," Gail announces, and reports that Colicchio did indeed win the Bravo.com poll for sexiest chef on the show.

Next question Colicchio has is if any of them have checked out the Bravo message boards. Miguel has read them, and says that both Dave and Harold are regarded as "heroes," but he was liked only up until the point when he called Tiffani a snake. In the studio, Tiffani hisses at him. I don't agree with the Bravo boards' assessment. I didn't like how Miguel tried to blame Andrea for their collective failures, but he actually went up in my estimation when he confronted and hissed at Tiffani. It was one of my favoritest moments in the whole show. Colicchio asks how many eyes Miguel has. He has three, remember? Two in front and one behind him, watching his back. "Actually, there's four but the fourth one we don't talk about -- it only sees you at night," Miguel adds. Oh, I so didn't need to think about Miguel's penis at night. Or at any other time of day, actually. Bot wants to know what it's like watching themselves on television. I want to turn the question around on her -- Bot, watching yourself on the show, is it apparent to you that the only difference between you and Data is that Data has an emotion chip? Andrea gives herself props for being the only reality show contestant to be sent home twice, "and I think it's because I was so big on 'elimination' that they had to eliminate me twice." I have nothing to add to that except, flush!

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Top Chef

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