Top Chef
Season 1 Reunion

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Scenes From A Top Chef Reunion

After the commercial break, Bot wants to know how things have been for Dave throughout out the process: "I imagine a bit of an emotional rollercoaster." Dave rolls his eyes over his obvious emotional excesses and says he doesn't cry at work, you can ask anyone who works with him. Bot directs them to some clips of Dave being stressed, whirling, emotional, and repeating "mirepoix" over and over again. After the clips, Colicchio tosses Dave a box of tissues, just in case. I'd have thrown it right back at his shiny bald head. Dave explains that he's just very passionate about what he does and he might have a different view of things than other people. This is where Tiffani has to open her big fat mouth to begin the first in a series of interruptions. She doesn't think Dave's view is so different from anyone else's there. Dude, you're such a bitch; let him explain himself! And also, existentially, his view IS different from everyone else's, because no one can feel what he's feeling or experiencing or bringing to it unless s/he is actually DAVE! On a superficial note, Dave left the high-tech world to do food, and that already is very different from every other cheftestant there, so SHUT UP, TIFFANI! Dave retorts, "Why do you wanna take my thing right now?" Tiffani makes this face that's all, "I'm so comically perplexed by you, you silly little man." SMACK! Dave goes on, "We're talking about me for one sec, just let it go, we're not talking about you! So, let me have the limelight for one second!" ["Fucking drama queen." -- Joe R] There's a smattering of applause from the other cheftestants. Dave goes on that he takes it personal because it is personal and Tiffani is always interrupting him. "I don't interrupt any of these chefs because I respect --" "Really?" Tiffani interrupts. Dave turns to directly face Tiffani and asks what chef he's ever interrupted: "I respect them all, Tiffani. Everyone, I have respect --" "I respect you, Dave," Tiffani interrupts. Then why the FUCK are you interrupting him?! Oh, this whole thing just drives me insane! Dave yells at her to stop interrupting his segment: "SHUT IT!"

Colicchio tries to regain control of the conversation, but Dave is still really upset that he can't say anything without Tiffani shutting him down. Colicchio wants to ask Tiffani something. "What's up, chef?" she asks brightly. Hate. Does she think Dave should be in the final three? "Of course not," Dave says bitterly. "Yeah, I think Dave should totally be there," Tiffani says calmly. Ken laughs that Tiffani's a "shitty little liar" and throws an empty water bottle at her before dissolving into weird cackling laughter and unintelligible Irish brogue. I didn't know soccer hooligans could also be chefs. After Colicchio asks if Dave feels that he has more to prove because he came to the kitchen later in life; Dave says something about needing to validate himself and yes, the ten thousand dollars would be great, but "It's not about that, it's about... people." And he's starting to lose it. I have this fantasy that every time I commit a culinary crime, like separating my sauce, burning steaks, or using too much salt, Dave the Crying Chef is going to come by and make me feel very bad about what I did. Dave regains control and says, "Crying Chef is not coming." Miguel announces that he's certainly gone home and cried after tough kitchens. Cynthia also goes off about how no other art form touches all the senses, so it's a very emotional art form.

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Top Chef

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