Top Chef
Season 2 Finale, Part I

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The Poke's On You

Padmadala thanks all of them for their excellent work. Padmadala sighs hard and puts her hands to her face. Elia turns to Marcel to hug and congratulate him. Why he doesn't shove her away is beyond me. I guess he's got more restraint than me. Elia babbles to us about why she did what she did at the judges' table, but it's all pitiful and unbelievable, so I'll spare you. Actually, on second thought, I can't believe she says this: "For the whole competition, I have been his only friend." Really? Were you his friend when you didn't tell Cliff to lay off? Were you his friend when you shaved your head after Cliff attacked him and then made buck-toothed fun of him? Were you his friend when you accused him of cheating? Because that's still part of the "whole competition," Elia, and you are NOT being his friend. Sam tells us he was shocked to be let go, but it's been a great experience for him. Elia tells us, "What I'm taking away from this competition is to always remember to behave like who I am." And who you are is a bitch. I think you did it well, Elia. Really, really well. Elia thinks she can leave the competition holding her head up and knowing that she didn't compromise herself. Hold tight to those rose-colored glasses -- they'll help you get through every rerun. Sam and Elia walk off into the darkness, and Marcel tells us that he's happy it's him and Ted Ilan in the finale, "Because I have, like, a personal vendetta against him -- all the trash talking he's done since day one, and I can't wait to settle this thing once and for all." Ted Ilan tells us that it will be icing on his cake to win the whole thing over Marcel. "Mono a mono," Marcel tells Ted Ilan. "Yeah, I can't wait to make you cry tomorrow," Ted Ilan sneers. DICK! DICK! GREY DICK! "Don't flatter yourself," Marcel laughs, "It will take a lot more than a little paprika to make me cry." "I got a lot more in my knife kit than paprika," Ted Ilan grins. Yeah, be careful Marcel, he's got SAFFRON, too!

Next week: It's so over. Finally.

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