Top Chef
Season 2 Finale, Part II

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Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

When the judges turn to Marcel's assistants, Mike says that Marcel was great through the four hours of prep, but then it all fell apart the next day. He says Marcel had them doing "all this other stuff" and that they were cooking blind. Padmadala leads the witness: "You think it would have made it better if you had known the master plan?" Mike agrees wholeheartedly. Betty looks down with smug happiness. I want to yank those pigtails clear off her skull. Hubert asks Sam how involved he was in the cooking. That's a rather precise question to ask someone we know to have basically given Marcel one of his courses. Sam tells them about Marcel forgetting the fish and how he, Sam, came up with the resulting dish they all loved. "So, sea beans was your idea?" Hubert clarifies. It was. Having done their damage, the ex-cheftestants are excused.

Marcel and Ted Ilan are brought out for questioning. Padmadala is again having trouble controlling her emotions. She's already choking up (or toking up) at the prospect of telling one of them he lost. She wants each cheftestant to describe his menu. Ted Ilan -- taking care to dispel the idea that all he's been doing is the same old Spanish stuff that's on the Casa Mononucleosis menu -- says he created his whole menu "on the fly." He admits that he brought a few things from home, but claims that he was really inspired by the things he saw at the fauxmers' market. Gail is skeptical, and says they had the feeling he came with a set idea of the courses he wanted to make. Ted Ilan denies this, even though Gail tells him it would be okay if he'd had a game plan. Ted Ilan continues to insist that the fauxmers' market drove his meal. Colicchio asks if he should be made Top Chef when he's so clearly focused on only one cuisine. Ted Ilan desperately says that he thinks he's stepped outside of the Spanish mold and has showcased his skills. Ted Ilan starts to get red in the face and choked up as he tells Colicchio that this was the best meal he ever cooked. He goes on a bit longer about how great he is and says that at the end of the meal he was filled with "joy and happiness." Okay, Counselor Troi. Colicchio asks him to define the major difference between him and Marcel. Ted Ilan's gotta be jumping for joy inside. He turns to Marcel and says, "Don't take any offense, I mean you will but --" Oh, now he's saying "no offense" to Marcel? Ted Ilan says, "I have a greater passion and I'm a bit more forgiving --" Yeah, it's really too bad Marcel couldn't bygones that whole head-shaving attack. Oh, wait, he did! Fucknad. "And I think I'm more gentle with the people that I work with and am around. I think I respect people," Ted Ilan concludes. You respect them so much, you participate in harassment of them. Ted Ilan feels he deserve to win, absolutely.

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Top Chef

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