Top Chef
Season 2 Finale, Part II

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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

... the guest judges arrive in a little lagoon boat. Seriously? Where did they come from -- the ocean? Actually, I've decided that their boat is like the ones from Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride. It's on, like, chains or rails or something. And cue the Wilhelm dolphin again. Anyway, tonight we get to watch Hubert Keller (cute little happy man from last year. Oh, and he's also is a mega-chef), Wylie Dufresne (molecular gastronomist, owns WD-50 in NY, which I like to call WD-40), Roy Yamaguchi (Roy's Hawaiian Fusion restaurants), Michelle Bernstein (Sandra Bernhard), and Scott Conant (chef/owner of L'Impero and Alto). Dude, why does Roy Yamaguchi look so angry? It makes me miss Alan Wong. I wonder if Roy's pissed that he didn't get his own episode. A VO tells us, "This is a great opportunity for young chefs like Ilan and Marcel to showcase their talents in front of a lot of industry heavyweights." I wouldn't use the term "heavyweights" when talking about food people. Ted Ilan goes out to meet his judges. He asks Betty how he looks. "Gorgeous -- like a winner!" she crows. Padmadala introduces all the judges to Ted Ilan. Ted Ilan delivers a quick introduction to his meal and gets back to plating.

The first course comes out. It's a "pincho" (like Balki?) of Pan Con Tomate with angulas (eels), Osetra caviar (fish eggs), and tomatillos (green tomato-y things). I'm sorry, but the baby eels look like pinworms. Oh, and the tomatillos are actually NOT tomatillos, Bravo, but are, according to Ted Ilan, Green Zebra tomatoes. Tomatillos and Green Zebras? NOT THE SAME THING, YOU IDIOTS! At the table, Ted Ilan describes the dish and explains that along with the pinworms and Osetra caviar, the toast bears some "Green Zebra tomato caviar, which a lot of chefs in Spain are calling this section of the tomato." "This section of the tomato" looks a whole lot like the seed sacs to me. The judges eat. Hubert Keller doesn't think the baby eels were worth the trouble. Scott Conant didn't love them either. Wylie Dufresne thinks the bread was soggy. Can someone explain what is up with Ted Ilan's interview outfit with the fat chain and the wide red suspenders? It's like he's gangsta Urkel.

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Top Chef

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