Relive The Boredom All Over Again
A writer-inner wants to know if Colicchio would ever consider a cook-off between himself and one of the cheftestants. Colicchio laughs and says, "Anytime." "OHHHHWEEEOOOHHHH! BIG TIME!" Brian bellows, having just experienced a Brian changeover. Which cheftestant would Colicchio choose to cook against? The winner, of course. Would the other judges ever want to participate in a similar event? Padma would, especially because there were so many QFs she had ideas for. Padma, satisfying the munchies wouldn't necessarily net you a QF win. Camille announces that she would pay for Padma and Clay to go up against each other. I'm certain that's insulting to one of them, but the problem is, I'm not exactly sure who should be more offended. Camille qualifies her comment by saying that Padma could cook her way through the cheftestants all the way up to Hung. Yeah, but then Hung would make another Froot Loop Fairyland and Padma would have a paranoid freak-out and hide in the corner until someone ate all the purple things on the plate.
Cohen awkwardly segues into a "the judges are big meanies!" clip show, followed by a montage of the cheftestants standing by their dishes a la Tammy Wynette. Or Hillary. It all ends with the clip of Colicchio telling CJ that his broccolini was the most awfullest, worsest thing in the entire universe of bad food you don't ever want to eat even if you had a towel. Back on the set, Colicchio comically recoils at how mean he sounded. Cohen wants to know if the cheftestants were feistier this year, or if the judges were just meaner. Colicchio thinks it was all the cheftestants, starting with Howie throwing Bourdain's own words back in his face. And then we watch the clip. Colicchio says that when Howie did that, he was clapping under the table. No one can come to a consensus on which cheftestant took the worst beating at Judges' Table, though. Colicchio thinks that because this year's crop was so talented, the judges expected a lot more out of them. Therefore, when they failed, the judges came down on them. Hard.