Top Chef
Season 3 Reunion

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D- | 2 USERS: A+
Relive The Boredom All Over Again
Cohen, who refuses to choke on a sweaty sock no matter how many I ball up and throw at the television, now announces, "Well, it wasn't just the judges that drove all of you crazy, it seems that the Stew Room led to some pretty outrageous behavior [the cheftestants start laughing in agreement, so Cohen has to raise his voice to make sure everyone I mean everyone hears him] and maybe it should have been nicknamed [needlessly dramatic pause for the bon NOT that followed] THE NUTHOUSE!" What follows is a parade of previously-unseen footage. Clearly there was a lot of drinking, sleeping, and, in some cases, dancing going on in the Stew Room (I like that name, by the way, Bravo, and I'll use it. Giving due credit, of course). CJ rambles some odd song about sitting in the Stew Room (tm Bravo), waiting for their demise. Oh, and I forgot about this little tidbit! We have a shot of Brian stretching out on some cardboard and getting all comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that he reaches down and yanks at his junk. I assume he was doing some "rearranging," but it looked painful. Back in the studio, CJ sees that clip and screams with laughter. Back in the Stew Room, Joey wakes up from a brief snooze to catch Brian imitating his nodding-off motion. Joey slaps at him good-naturedly. Someone else was saying "banana hammock" right at that moment and I really don't understand what they were talking about, but I'm dying to find out! Someone -- Hung, I think -- blew up a latex glove and the cheftestants started batting it around the room. "It's a chicken -- no, it's a turkey," Hung laughs. "Yeah, the Chicken Cordon Blow?" Dale snarks. Hysterical. Sara N. gets up and does an awkward dance-y thing that makes Elaine Benes look like Kevin Bacon in that scene from Footloose. The clip show ends with the cheftestants laughing hysterically, and Brian choking on water as MALARKEY! tries to drown him yet again.

In the studio, Padma notes that it looks like they had a lot of fun back there. Brian says that what we just saw was only a few minutes out of the many hours of horror they experienced. Cohen asks how long they spent in the Stew Room on average, and Sara M. claims six, but others say it was more like four to five. Padma points out that the judges had to suffer just as much, since they were having to do all that judge-y stuff. Yeah, but you weren't sweating out whether you were losing out on $100,000 or not. Cohen now wants Sara N. and M. to demo their awesome dance moves. The moves we saw in the clip show. So, we saw the clip show and now were going to re-see it in real time because redundancy is an anti-oxidant, and so Sara N. gets up and dances again and it's awkward and stupid and weird and MOVE ALONG HOME! Before we go to commercial, Cohen reminds us that we haven't yet heard who the fan favorite is, so we still have to wade through all this crap to get to that dubious pay-off.

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Top Chef




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