Top Chef
Season 5 Finale Part 1

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The Good Times, They Roll

Weird interstitial. Stefan tells the tale of when he went to visit Fabio at his restaurant on Halloween, and Fabio was dressed in drag. So Stefan decided he just needed to leave town. Fabio says he always dresses as a woman for Halloween: Catwoman and Wonder Woman most recently. He thinks it takes balls to dress like a woman. Hosea jokes, "Well, they can't be too big or they won't fit in the thong." HOSEA! Showing some personality. Now, if you've read many of my other recaps, you know that the whole idea of men dressing as women being hilarious irritates me. I mean, there's drag, which is spectacular, and then there's drunken frat boys borrowing their girlfriend's bras and wearing a skirt and thinking it's the height of comedy. It's so easy and so cheap and... ugh. It makes me think less of Fabio, frankly.

Fabio explains that they went to Emeril's kitchen and he had every type of tool, equipment, and ingredient you could ever want. Hosea notices that there's turtle meat and veal in the walk-in. So then each chef reveals his or her menu, and here they are:

Hosea's menu: duck, andouille and chicken gumbo, pecan-crusted catfish with Tabasco buerre blanc, and a blood orange hurricane with grand Marnier and rum.

Carla's menu: oyster stew, shrimp and andouille beignet, and non-alcoholic cranberry spritzer. Carla was hoping the oysters would come pre-shucked, but no such luck. She sticks with the oyster idea even though she just learned how to shuck them a week ago, and she has a hundred to shuck.

Stefan's menu: duck and rabbit gumbo with grits, apple beignet, and black cherry and rum cocktail. Stefan claims he didn't have much of a plan going in, and he wanted to just "cook, get this over with, get into the final three, and that's it." Do you think Stefan is overlooking the importance of this round? Maybe?

Jeff's menu: fried oyster with handmade sausage (cooked to order), crawfish pot de crème, and cucumber mojito. Hey, did you know that Jeff has to win the challenge to stay in it? Hosea jokingly reminds him, and then rips on Fabio for getting a Mohawk right before the challenge, since it's such a Top Chef cliché. When did Hosea get a personality?

Fabio's menu: sausage and rabbit maque choux with grits, crawfish and crab stew with caserecci pasta, muffuletta bread, and bell pepper martini. Yes, that's four dishes. Fabio hopes by doing a little extra, he will stand out. Or fall flat on his face. One of the two.

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