Top Chef

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Ho No

Padma wants each of the finalists to say why they should be Top Chef. Stefan thinks he deserves it because he's been very consistent and has always produced good food. Hosea thinks he put out bold flavors and delicious food that represented his culinary point of view. Carla says that when she cooks her food, it's delicious and full of heart and soul. She starts breaking up a little as she says that when she makes her food, it's delicious. Everyone just stands around awkwardly and watches her cry until Stefan (who wasn't even standing next to her, HOSEA!) rushes over and comforts her. Carla continues to cry and Hosea sits there like a lump. Padma excuses them so grown-ups can talk now.

Back in the suite, Carla keeps crying and again, Stefan comforts her while Hosea sits there like a lump. He totally seems like the type of guy who is frozen by a woman's tears, like he would agree to anything if you would just stop crying. Take note, Leah. Cry to get what you want. Men love women like that! So do other women!

Back at judge's table, the judges quickly agree that Carla is out of the running, and they think Carla knows it. So Carla's name never really comes up again. Tom contrasts Hosea and Stefan, since Stefan has more of a classical background. Padma thinks Hosea's food is thoughtful, and Tom points out that he put out a cohesive menu in this final challenge. Toby argues that Stefan's menu was structurally better, although I don't see why that matters if the food sucked. Tom reminds everyone of the frozen fish debacle. They all agree that Stefan's squab was the best dish of the night, though, and represented him as a chef beautifully. Tom, who clearly does not want Stefan to win at this point, rags on his lame dessert. Toby didn't mind it, and Padma gives him a withering, "It was pedestrian at best." Ooh, Padma. Rrowr! Tom goes through Hosea's four dishes, and points out how they all led into one another and complemented one another. Even Toby admits that Hosea's venison, his final dish, was the best of the three final courses, but he goes back to his argument about Hosea's meal having no ending. So grab a mint on your way out, dude! If the judges really cared about a dessert, they should have made it mandatory. Tom points that out, and Gail says that Hosea left her satisfied and smiling. (That's what she said!) I'm sorry. I know that joke is played out. I just couldn't help it. (That's what she said!) Gail doesn't think Stefan's progression was as strong as Hosea's, because his dishes were kind of all over the place. I wonder if it would have made a difference if they had eaten one chef's entire meal, then another chef's, and then the third chef's? I mean, no one could eat that much food, but maybe do it over the course of three days? I don't know. Gail and Tom are kind of convinced that Stefan may have the technical skill, but no soul. Toby points out that if they're rewarding soul, Carla should win. I had a leap of hope for Carla when he said that.

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Top Chef

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