Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 1008 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Draining The Tre

In the Top Chef Kitchens, the cheftestants find Padma and Colicchio waiting for them. Reminding the cheftestants that they have a second chance at a restaurant opening, Padma explains that they will be making double the amount of menu offerings -- a choice of two items for each course -- and Colicchio says he's arranged for a sommelier to give the Quickfire winners extra help. I can't believe I didn't call it as soon as the word "sommelier" dripped from the Colicchio lips. Turning to the task at hand, Colicchio calls the Quickfire a "Mis-en-Place Relay Race." Padma slowly explains the term for the Internet-challenged among us: "Mis-en-place is the prep chefs do in the kitchen before a busy night of service." Padma, hon, it's the prep they do before any service -- busy or not. Howie thinks The Garage is golden with Hung the amphetamine monkey on their side. Hung agrees that he's awesome: "I'm a great chef and I do that with finesse. Not only do you need to be smart, creative, with a great palate, but you also need the speed." The mis-en-place tasks are: shuck fifteen oysters, finely dice five onions, break down four chickens, and crack and separate three eggs and beat them stiff enough to withstand being turned upside down for five seconds. They have two minutes to decide who will do what. Casey explains to us since that Brian has been in oyster shucking competitions (of course he has: O'Brian has the bronze, Bryan the silver and MALARKEY! hoards five golds), and Tre can do the chickens, "CJ and I are left, so I just took the onion. Fine dicing an onion, it's not brain science." Neither is the expression "it's not brain surgery," or "it's not rocket science," but you still screwed that up. Can't wait to see how you tackle those onions!

Howie and Brian step forward to get on with the shucking. With a shucking glove on one hand and an oyster knife in the other, the guys get to work. Howie carefully positions every shucked oyster on the plate, but Brian explains, "I have a unique way of cracking my oysters -- it's the assembly line way of doin' it. All I do is I pop the top! Pop the top! Pop the top! Pop the top! I get them all done, and I do my abductor muscles and it's like jootjootjootjoot!" Howie shows some surprising and hitherto unseen perspicacity when he says that he knows Brian's getting ahead of him but it's really more about getting his job done so the rest of his teammates can shine at their individual tasks. Brian throws up his hand to get his oysters checked, Colicchio blows his whistle, and Casey steps up to dice onions for Restaurant April.

Top Chef

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