Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 1008 USERS: C+
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Draining The Tre

Back at the Top Chef compound, the teams get their restaurants ready. Dale thinks their new place is great but adds, "It's kind of like Valentine's Day threw up all over it." Sure enough, along with the white tablecloths, there's also lots of red accents and some silver things on the walls and other silver things stacked in the corners. Oh, and there's those special paintings The Raging Bitch "found." They're the kind of paintings my dad stares at in modern art museums and then loudly asks me what's so special about an artist filling a canvas with a single, solid color. I can't argue with him, but I do beat a hasty retreat when he asks a docent which artist made the doorknob. Or the drinking fountain. Brian is pretty happy with the changes The Raging Bitch had them made to Restaurant April. The food quote Brian's team stenciled around the walls is from Through the Looking Glass: " 'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,/'Is what we chiefly need:/Pepper and vinegar besides/Are very good indeed --/Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear,/We can begin to feed.'" You just KNOW one of the Brians came up with that quote. I mean, who else on this show is one with the Lewis Carroll mentality?

Just as the cheftestants begin prepping their food, Padma, Ted, and Colicchio walk in. Padma introduces Jeffrey Zakarian, the guest judge for the night. Food Flurry. "To bring this home, I gotta make sure my hand is in everything," Tre tells us. He adds that Casey is great on the line, while CJ doesn't have that much experience on the line. However, he concludes, all great chefs have to be able to trust their sous chefs. As Dale fiddles with a pea puree and a tamis, he calls The Raging Bitch because he forgot to tell him that they are renaming the restaurant "Quatre." Off the phone, Dale tells the cameraman, "He says no one can read French, and no one will understand, and it's not a pretty word. But, um, well, when he opens his own restaurant he can name it whatever he wants, and that's what we're going to do." You go, Dale! As for The Raging Bitch's critiques: "no one" can read French? I'll bet that's news to France. Also, anyone who has taken a romance language will recognize the "quat" stem to mean four. Also, someone should tell Hubert Keller of Fleur de Lys, Eric Ripert of Le Bernardin, Anthony Bourdain of Les Halles, Daniel Patterson of Frisson, and anything with "Brasserie" in the title that they are all doomed to failure.

Top Chef

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