Padma, Ted, and Chef Zakarian walk into Quatre and Ted theatrically notes the name change. Dale seats them and presents them with Stephen. Ted doesn't like Dale's short-sleeve tee-shirt and jeans: "He looks like he's working at Dennys." Man, between that comment and the other one from the Corkmasters, Denny's is never going to sponsor this show. Stephen sabers some Champagne and Padma squeals. Oh, right -- Stephen's antics would be totally new to her! More diners arrive, including Sara N. and Joey for Quatre and Lia and Camille for Restaurant April. I was all excited to see them but their presence amounted to nothing more than a surprisingly catty comment from Joey about Howie's food.
Brian scampers to the kitchen and announces, whistling, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Lia and Camille are two of our guests! YEAAAAAAH!" I want to record Brian's "YEAAAAAAH" and make it a ringtone. Dale tries to give out the same information a bit more subtly, saying, "Table seven is VIP, you guys." "I told you ALL are VIP!" Sara snaps. "Um, it's Sara and Joey," Dale says quietly. Sara stares back at him, dawning comprehension and a sweetly delighted smile spreading across her face. Aw. "Oh, how cute!" she says and gets back to work. Dale goes over to Hung and tells him, "Table two are Sara and Joey." "Who are Sara and Joey?" Hung asks without looking up. He's so in his own little monkey world. "Sara -- our old competitors," Dale says impatiently. "Oh. Nice," Hung says, still not looking up. Dishes go out and Colicchio still keeps his faithful watch.
In Quatre's dining room, Zakarian bitches about Hung's tuna tartare with egg vinaigrette and niçoise olives, "One thing I dislike on most menus is that everybody has tuna tartare." "It's cliché," Ted agrees. Well, that's just so interesting, Ted, because LAST week, you said the tuna tartare was "very, very delicate, subtle" and "very successful," and you liked it "very, very much" because you thought it was "smart" to do a play on salad niçoise. Granted, Ted Allen could simply be agreeing with the fact that it's cliché for tuna tartare to be on so many menus, but because that is the only comment we get from Ted on the tuna tartare, it's evident that Magical Elves wants us to see that Ted is damning the dish he so highly praised last week. Also, Zakarian should stop worrying so much about his Botox injections and pay attention to the fact that Quatre was supposed to be a contemporary bistro, meaning the dishes they serve are takes on bistro fare. What do you find in bistros? Salad niçoise. What's Hung's tuna tartare attempting to evoke? Salad niçoise.