Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
1211 USERS: C+
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Scalps and Scallops

This is where the conspiracy revisioning happens. You can see someone kneeling on the ground in the corner as Marcel stalks off -- go over to Amuse-Biatch and looks at the stills -- I freeze-framed all of this and checked it out. It really appears to be Elia and she's not bald, and that's why I'm saying they went off AFTER this disgusting attack on Marcel and had a high-old time shaving their pathetic little heads. There's another point where Ted Ilan's camera face swings around and catches the Elia figure walking toward him. Yet Bravo, in all their creative editing, wanted us to think that the timeline was reversed. Why? I really don't know, unless they were trying their damnedest to whitewash Elia's image since she will ultimately win this competition. I don't know any advance information, it's just a gut feeling I've had since the fourth episode. Just put me on Team I Don't Give a Black Bone. I don't love Marcel, but the antics of the last few episodes has made me feel really sorry for him. I certainly don't hate him, and I almost want him to win to teach all these freak-ass bullies a lesson. Almost. However, I don't think he's the best chef either, and I know I'm repeating myself but I'm just so irritated with this season and I want it done. No one really deserves to win this year. I can't freaking wait for Jericho and the sanity of a nuclear holocaust where bullies get caught in the crosshairs of a sniper's rifle and drinking iodine tinctures is advised. Sigh. Where's my iodine tincture, I ask you. WHERE'S MY IODINE TINCTURE!?

Top Chef

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