Top Chef
Sense And Sensuality

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Scalps and Scallops

Judges' Table. Remember the food they cooked all those minutes ago? Well, don't worry, we're going to be reminded of it. Colicchio brings the other judges up to speed on the events. Gail and Padmadala goggle. Colicchio explains that he and the producers decided that Cliff should leave. Calling their act "cruel" and "ridiculous" Colicchio blogged that he wanted to send everyone home and let Marcel win by default. Of course, he wasn't allowed. I hate Bravo's overwrought site, so I rarely read the blogs, but I loved reading Colicchio's and Harold's this week -- especially because Colicchio is in no way holding Elia to be blameless, and Harold expresses his deep disgust for the cheftestants' asinine behavior.

Back to the Judges' Table. They talk about the food and how it was the best yet, and Padmadala points out that they actually liked Cliff's food least. Gail and Padmadala go back to talking about how the whole thing with Marcel could have been a dangerous situation. Finally, Padmadala crosses her arms firmly and decides, "Let's bring them out -- I also want to talk to them about their behavior yesterday." Okay, Mom. Colicchio says, "I think you're going to be in for quite a surprise when you see them." The cheftestants file in. Padmadala gapes at the shaven heads, Gail seems to giggle. Ted Ilan, the ass, is grinning broadly at their reactions, while Elia -- who seems to have some sense of proportion about what serious shit they just avoided -- isn't smiling at all. Ted Ilan is stupid and young and in no way does he deserve to win this. "I don't know what you guys were thinking," Padmadala bursts out. Ted Ilan blathers about the drinking and craziness and things getting "a little out of hand." Marcel just keeps his eyes on the floor. Colicchio turns to Sam and says, "Sam, you run a kitchen -- is this the way you conduct yourself in your kitchen?" "No, I don't," Son of Sam says seriously. Say that one ten times fast. Colicchio doesn't understand why no one stopped Cliff or said "lay off." Padmadala laughs with Marcel that she's sure he did. Gail and Padmadala lay into them for putting so much on the line after coming so far. After Gail goes on a bit about how being a chef is about being a leader, Padmadala thinks to ask Marcel if he's okay. "Yeah, you know, I'm fine," Marcel says, smiling. "Well, I'm sorry, Marcel, that it happened to you," Padmadala tells him. "No apology necessary from you," Marcel says. Damn straight. Has Son of Sam, Ted Ilan, or Elia even thought to apologize to him? Finally, they get to talking about the food. "Because actually, you idiots," Padmadala says, "the food yesterday was really, really good." Ripert agrees with this assessment, so does Gail. They start picking on little things. Ripert brings up the lack of acidity in Marcel's dish, and when Colicchio asks Marcel if he thinks the dish should put him in the finals, Marcel says he's proud of his dish. Oh, this is tiresome -- they nit-pick little things, all of which we heard them discuss at the restaurant, and then send them off while they deliberate.

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