Top Chef
Sense And Sensuality

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Scalps and Scallops

More nit-picking of little things -- especially for Marcel and Elia. They try to make us believe they aren't sending all four of them to Hawaii, even going so far as to say they were disappointed in Marcel and Elia. So, what? Are we supposed to pretend we didn't just hear them say that this was the best food yet? POINT-LESS! They call the cheftestants back in and tell them that Sam and Ted Ilan are going to Hawaii. I want to just slap that smug mouth of Ted Ilan's into the middle of next week. Padmadala then says, "I'm very sorry. Elia, Marcel -- I'm going to have to ask you both to pack your knives... And go. To. Hawaii!" Padma, that was rather mean. Ted Ilan immediately hugs Elia as everyone laughs at Padmadala's funny. Marcel pulls a Billy Idol and dances with himself. Son of Sam man-hugs Marcel. As does Ted Ilan. Ted Ilan then blathers to us about going surfing and having to do sit-ups and why do I care? Oh right, I don't. Shut up, Ted Ilan. The cheftestants are congratulated by the judges and they all tell us how excited they are. I'm not. I'm done. I don't care. I just want it over. Then we hear Marcel say, "Surf's up, brah!" and I lose it in hysterical giggles. He's such a dork.

Next week: Hawaii. Ted Ilan's still a bitch, Marcel's sideburns are longer, and he tells someone to "just fucking say it." Fun times.

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