After all those wimpy salads, Sam and Padma must be hungry, because they suddenly appear with two trays piled high with delicious-looking, greasy fast food -- burgers, onion rings, fries, egg rolls, sandwiches, and more. Unfortunately, it's not lunch, but a cautionary introduction to the challenge. With the spread of obesity and diabetes terrorizing innocent Americans (poor Sam, a diabetic himself, has a hard time finding low sugar, low carb food that actually tastes like something), it's important to eat consciously and sensibly. The two trays of food represent a typical lunch order from the officers and cadets of the Chicago Police Academy, and the challenge will be to reimagine the nefarious lunchtime eats of Chicago's finest into a healthy boxed lunch that includes at least one ingredient from each of four food groups: whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables. "In other words, protect their health, and serve them something tasty." Thanks, Padma -- you and your sexy back are on a roll this week!

For building the sexiest salad, Spike will enjoy a ten-minute jump on the shopping, as well as the ability to choose one ingredient from each of the four required food groups that only he can use. He feels that said advantage will enable him to start showing off the tricks he's tucked up his sleeve -- Stephanie laments that Spike's the one with the leg up, since she's sure he'll use it to "fuck us all over" (as opposed to simply focusing on improving his own performance) "which I'm sure he's very excited about." She's absolutely right -- he is excited, and he's an ass. This is a competition, lest anyone forget, and while various "strategies," as Spike calls them, may show one to be not such a nice person, they're all -- short of outright cheating and rule breakage -- legit. Andrew doesn't care what Spike does or does not do, since he has a background in nutrition and working with raw foods, and thinks he'll be able to concoct something that will make people say "wow" and "awesome" in annoying baby voices.

Over at Whole Foods, Spike makes a point of running around while the rest of the gang has to stand and watch him, unable to do anything for ten excruciating minutes, as Antonia rehashes what's going on. "Now it's time to piss everybody off," says Spike, enjoying his current situation more than immunity since it means he gets to actively hamper his teammates' efforts. Offering a snide wave, Spike explains that he's going to choose ingredients that will make things more difficult for everyone else. As he asks the butcher for chicken breasts, he explains that he'll be doing chicken salad, since chicken is the go-to lean lunchtime protein and they'll all have to fight over meat; in addition to chicken, he selects tomatoes, bread, and lettuce, effectively blocking anyone else from assembling the traditional lunchtime duo of sandwich and salad without a lot of thought and creativity. There's plenty that can be done without using those ingredients, but Spike's definitely making things a bit more difficult. And boy is he pleased with himself.