Top Chef

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It's A Sabotage!

It's Tom Time. Colicchio strides into the kitchen and over to Stephanie, who's busy with her mushroom leek soup and meatballs -- perfect, she thinks, for lunch on this nice cold day. It'll taste good and stick to the ribs. After telling Colicchio of her "veggie, edamame and just a little bit of shrimp stir fry," she pulls out a blender container with some homemade hot sauce, "if you dare," and offers it to him. He dares, and it totally stops him in his tracks -- you can see how spicy it is on his normally stoic face. In fact, it's so spicy that Colicchio blurts, "It's a good thing we're not cooking for the firemen, because that's a seven alarmer." He and Padma clearly have the same joke writer. Colicchio wanders away as his mouth begins to cool -- "finally."

Spike's next, and Colicchio restates the chicken/tomato/lettuce/bread blocking strategy ("aren't I super awesome?" smirks Spike) before wondering if he's actually going to use the tomatoes. Spike assures him that he will -- he wasn't going to at first, but thought better of simply displaying them for everyone else to see. He'll slice them and lay them atop a slice of lettuce, and upon this stroke of genius, the chicken salad shall rest.

"Do you like burritos?" asks Richard as Colicchio approaches. Always with the questions, that one. "Depends on if it's a good burrito or not," answers Colicchio. Richard informs him that cops like burritos, every last one of them, so he's doing a burrito with (you guessed it) a twist -- lentils, rice, and quinoa, quick-grilled tuna. He does not want to go home for a boxed lunch. With half an hour left, it's time to begin preparing for transport (oh, the horror) as Colicchio surmises that the chef-testants are actually okay with this week's focus on healthy, diabetic-friendly food, and their skill and creativity should yield some delicious results.

Everything's going swimmingly for Lisa, who's monitoring her brown rice carefully, standing close by with a timer set, until she discovers that her burner is on high. "Somebody has cranked my rice all the way to high," she sputters, burning it on the outside and leaving it undercooked in the center. Brown rice takes time, she says, and she can't cook another batch, so what should have been easy has become terribly hard. She's totally fucked, and the notion that there is a saboteur lurking among their ranks is simply more than she can bear (it's almost like she's most upset that her "cake walk" got interrupted). As Lisa begins frantically scooping rice into a chinoise, Stephanie calmly offers her opinion that there is no sabotage and that some people would rather blame others than accept responsibility for their own mistakes. Dale just thinks that Lisa should calm her ass down because things like that happen in kitchens all the time. That's just the way it goes. Claiming sabotage is a sorry way to cover your own ass. Lisa decides to box the rice with some of the cooking liquid with the hope that it will all steam together in the microwave. Spike keeps dropping metal and making noise (that's it, get in their heads) as they head for the po po.

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Top Chef

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