Top Chef
Snacks On A Plane

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
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Chopping Broccolini
Bourdain thinks that Brian "doesn't get it." "It was terrible," Colicchio says, referring to Brian's food, "the dish was bad." After discussing Sara's overcooked salmon, Colicchio goes off on the "horrible couscous." "Okay," Padma says, putting a hand up, almost as if she's saying, "Okay, Colicchio, enough of the hate already." It was sort of a weird moment that got cut too soon.

In the back, CJ reasons that the judges aren't assassinating their characters, just saying what they didn't like about the food. He figures they hated his and Sara's the most. Sara agrees that they didn't like her "fig couscous" and said it "sounded like an afterthought." "That's because it really was," Sara shrugs.

The judges move on to CJ; Bourdain says his dish was "beyond help" and rants how CJ never should have served the Broccolini. "That Broccolini was the single worst thing that we've had throughout this entire competition," Colicchio proclaims.

In the back, CJ says, "One of us is going home -- miss you guys, love you."

The losing cheftestants once again stand in front of the judges and silently submit to their recrapping (tm ad infinitum, SeeingI). Colicchio tells CJ that his Broccolini was the "single worst thing [they've] had in three years of the competition." I don't even have the energy to dispute that ridiculous statement, but Sam's watermelon almost made Gail vomit. Hey, where is Gail? I rather miss her bitchy self! ["I don't, but it looks like she's back next week regardless." -- Sars] Finally, Padma tells CJ he's not going to New York. She actually looks pretty sad about it, too. Damn. It's been close to a week and I still can't believe he's gone. CJ chokes, "Can I say something?" Padma, her eyes wet, says, "Sure." CJ tells the judges he appreciates the feedback and experience, and he's learned a lot and met a lot of great people. Padma wishes him luck, and CJ leaves without shaking any of their hands. Padma gazes after him, sort of longingly.

In the back, there's very little shock that CJ is going home, and the usual hugs are exchanged. MALARKEY! burbles, "GOOD MEMORIES, GOOD TIMES," before he and CJ man-hug with lots of mutual grunting. In the sad Newark motel room, CJ packs up his knives on a bed that is clearly way too short for him. CJ tells us that the show opened his horizons and he's very much looking forward to what's next in his life. He wants to open his own place, and thinks that's next for him. "But first," he adds, "I want to sit down and have a beer with Anthony Bourdain and talk shit about my Broccolini." And doll heads! Ask him about the doll heads! Maybe you'll drink beer out of doll heads!

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